How is Marriage Life?

Since I am in the mood of posting in blog, let me add one more post here.

6 months into marriage, we are still into long-distance marriage (Penang and KL is not that far, but the physical distance does make some difference). Every time someone asked...

A: So how is married life?

Me: Not much difference since we are not staying together and there is no child in the picture yet.

Actually there is a difference. More and more arguments and bad habits fly out. Differences in opinions and house arrangements etc... There was a time when I was thinking... 'Is this a wrong decision?" I guess this is just another part of me who likes to give up so fast. Sort of running away from predicament rather than bravely facing it. 

Both of us tried to avoid confrontation, is not making things any better. I feel the lack of heart-to-heart talk. I wanted to say something but decided against it so that we don't have ill feeling or argument since our time together is not long each time. Only during the short weekends. Somehow, I reminded myself not to appear too negative and try to be supportive. It takes time to practise, you know.

I am wondering, why do I bother to take so much trouble to accommodate him in my life and yet I took my mom for granted so much. Mom is 60 years old and definitely still going strong but she needs companion also I believe. We are lucky that the kids are at home to keep mom occupied. I just wonder when will I really muster the courage to request mom to retire and live comfortably. 

To retire is to ask someone to accelerate their ageing unless they lead an active life style, of which I believe mom definitely can. Just fiddling with the house alone can definitely keep her very much occupied. It is the allowance part that keeps me worried. It is time that I should bear my responsibility as the eldest to fix the allowance to ensure that she has sufficient to spend comfortably. Currently, I am only footing the utility and assessments bills of the house and shop and mom's EPF fund. 

Now, back to my original intention behind this post. Marriage is between two person and two families. Time is divided into visiting both families but most of the time is between both of us. Time is divided between friends, family and ourselves. Now that we are not living together, he has time to mingle with his friends while I tend to squeeze my time when I am back in Penang, between family and friends and my facial and massage appointments. That's one of his more common complaints. 

 

I am learning to relax from him but I guess maybe I relaxed too much as well. I can't imagine how life will be when I fully move back to Penang. Better don't think and just put in more effort to make things work. I read a quote the other day, it says... "There are thousands of genuine reasons to get divorced, there are also thousands of ways to find the meaning of marriage and stay true to your partner". 

Truly agree with that. I believe that constant communication to align on expectations and constant reminder to each other to not take each other for granted and try something new and put in effort in the marriage is of crucial significant impact. Wish me luck. I know I will complain every now and then but why suppress one self too much right? If I can't be myself in a marriage, then it is not a marriage that I need. Appreciation and encouragement support is what one need. Jonsern is doing pretty well in that occasionally. I will buck up on that, hopefully. 

Friends around me are getting pregnant or had successfully delivered. I had the urge to be pregnant as well but I also realised that I need to be more composed and rational in decision making, no more rash and impulsive decision making. It is now no longer about me alone. Raising a family with new obligations shouldn't be taken lightly. I plan to have children starting next year. Wish my luck in having a pair of twins!

Learning to be a better person, to myself, to my family, and those around me. I don't see my marriage as the type where it will turn out into both of us being best friends where we can spill out everything every time. There are still boundaries where we set in order to avoid frequent arguments. Still in the middle of learning about each other and throw away pre-judgments. Learning is a life-long journey indeed.

What is Subsidy All About?

Another interesting article from Whatsapp... You digest yourself and interpret yourself and believe what you want to believe... I am just sharing an interesting story... No instigation or ill-meaning intention meant at all... Because after reading it for the second time, then only I saw some of the hidden meaning behind it...

A man called Maha owns a farm which can produce 10 apples every day.

He has 5 workers to operat the farm. Each of them eats 1 apple daily and it is enough to keep them operating the farm normally. The remaining 4 apples, the landlord sells them at RM10 each and he earns RM40.

He uses the RM25 to improve the farm operation and facilities. He gives RM2.00 to each of his workers and he keeps the remaining RM5.00 as profit.

Day by day, the farm is well developed and all of the 5 workers are happy with the money they can save.

When Maha passed away and there is a new landlord, Abdul comes to continue the farm operation. He says tot he workers: "We need to improve the farm quality and redefine our way of thinking. From now on all of you only need to pay RM1.00 for each apple you eat. It is very cheap as the price is RM10 each outside the farm."

The workers have no choice but to pay RM1.00 for the apple they eat daily. Their earning decrease from RM2.00 to RM1.00 per person.

As usual, Abdul sells the 4 apples and he gets RM40. He uses RM25 for farm improvement and pays RM10 to his 5 workers. He gets RM5.00 as profit, On top of that, he gets another RM5.00 from the apples that he sells to his workers. In total, he gets RM10 as profit every day.

Soon, the apple price increase to RM20 each.

The new landlord gets a higher profit as he gets RM80 for the 4 apples he sells daily. Then, he decides to give the farming improvement contract to one of his close friend, Samy.

Samy says: "Apple cost naik, improvement cost also misti naik." So, the farm improvement cost increases from RM25 to RM50.

In actual fact, the improvement only cost RM30. The remaining RM20, Abdul and Samy share evenly among themselves.

Let's calculate how much Abdul gets daily:
RM10 (from farm improvement cost)
RM20 (Net profit by selling 4 apples:
[Gross profit, RM80] - [Improvement cost, RM50] - [Wages RM10] = RM20)

In total, Abdul gets RM35 daily compare to RM10 initially when he takes over the farm from Maha.

The greedy Abdul does not want to stop there. One day, he says to his fellow workers:
"You see ah, the current market price for one apple is RM20 and you are only paying Rm1. See how lucky you are! I have to SUBSIDY RM19.00 for each of the apples you buy and total I need to SUBSIDY RM95.00. This will greatly burden the farm and we might get bankrupt if we continue like this. In order to avoid bankruptcy, I need to increase the apple price that you buy from RM1.00 to RM1.50 and I will bear the remaining RM18.50 per apple as my subsidy to you all."

So, greedy Abdul adds RM2.50 to his current profit and the number becomes RM37.50.

After you have read the story, I am sure you have already understood the meaning of "SUBSIDY" given by the government.

Cutting fuel subsidy is actually just a reason to steal money from your pocket.

The last statement.... sounds logical... but better not jump the wagon before reading more on other aspects which might be affecting it... never listen to just one side of the story... this is what I learnt.

Golden Rules For Living

From LifeHack...

1. If you open it, close it.

2. If you turn it on, turn it off.

3. If you unlock it, lock it up.

4. If you break it, admit it.

5. If you can't fix it, call in someone who can.

6. If you borrow it, return it.

7. If you value it, take care of it.

8. If you make a mess, clean it up.

9. If you move it, put it back.

10. If it belongs to someone else, get permission to use it.

11. If you don't know how to operate it, leave it alone.

12. If it's none of your business, don't ask question.

See The Irony

CHURCH has 6 letters

so does MOSQUE / TEMPLE

 

BIBLE has 5 letters

so does QURAN / GEETA / SUTRA

 

LIFE has 4 letters

so does DEAD

 

HATE has 4 letters

so does LOVE

 

ENEMIES has 7 letters

so does FRIENDS

 

LYING has 5 letters

so does TRUTH

 

HURT has 4 letters

so does HEAL

 

NEGATIVE has 8 letters

so does POSITIVE

 

FAILURE has 7 letters

so does SUCCESS

 

BELOW has 5 letters

so does ABOVE

 

CRY has 3 letters

so does JOY

 

ANGER has 5 letters

so does WRONG

 

RICH has 4 letters

so does POOR

 

FAIL has 4 letters

so PASS

 

KNOWLEDGE has 9 letters

so does IGNORANCE

 

Are they all coincidence?

LIFE is like a Double-edged sword. We should always choose the right and better side of life!

Protect Your Child

Another one taken from FB:

Here is a list of things you need to teach your Child(ren) at early age:

1: Warn your Girl Child Never to sit on anyone's laps no matter the situation including uncles.

2: Avoid Getting Dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old. Learn to excuse them or yourself.

 3. Never allow any adult refer to your child as 'my wife' or 'my husband'....

 4. Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to find out what kind of play they do, because young people now sexually abuse themselves.

 5. Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your child becomes too fond of a particular adult.

 6. Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you may need to patiently ask lots of questions from your child.

 7. Carefully educate your grown ups about the right values of sex . If you don't, the society will teach them the wrong values.

 8: It is always advisable you go through any new Material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.

 9. Ensure you activate parental controls on your cable networks and advice your friends especially those your child(ren) visit(s) often.

 10. Teach your 3 year olds how to wash their private parts properly and warn them never to allow anyone touch those areas and that includes you (remember, charity begins from home and with you).

 11: Blacklist some materials/associates you think could threaten the sanity of your child (this includes music, movies and even friends and families).

 12. Let your child(ren) understand the value of standing out of the crowd.

 13: Once your child complains about a particular person, don't keep quiet about it.

>Take up the case and show them you can defend them.
>Remember, we are either parents or parents-to-be.
And if possible, forward to all friends who have children.

A Matter of Faith

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

 

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student :Yes

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

 

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

 

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smell your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor: According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theatre became very quiet with this turn of events.)

 

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

 

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

 

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

 

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

 

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

 

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

 

P.S.

I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. And if so, you’ll probably want your friends /colleagues to enjoy the same, won’t you?

Forward this to increase their knowledge … or FAITH.

By the way, that student was EINSTEIN

Marriage - a heroic act of self-gift

Marriage - heroic act of self-gift.

New to me.

Click (Paradox of choice) to know what I am talking about.

There's a difference between

a consumer who is looking to use a person for his own end and

a lover who is seeking to discover the beloved.

 

A consumer evaluates his options;

a lover woos his beloved.

 

A consumer considers the trade-offs of not choosing Jennifer in favor of Ashley;

a lover just looks into the eyes of his beloved and asks, "Ashley, will you marry me?"

 

A consumer is enticed then carefully calculates;

a lover is bewitched then ardently pursues.

 

A consumer shops, seeking the best deal;

a lover discerns, seeking to know the other person.

 

In courting and choosing whom to marry, we would do well to focus on the person and to remind ourselves that marriage is about giving ourselves in love to another person, and not primarily about individual fulfillment. Marriage rescues us from the paradox of choice and introduces us to the paradox of gift:

 

Give yourself,

and you find yourself.

 

Focus on your needs, your happiness, your desires,

and you get neither fulfillment of your needs, happiness, nor desires.

 

Give yourself unreservedly to your beloved,

and you discover the meaning of life.

The Nature of Ambition

I like the illustrations by Grant Snider on The Nature of Ambition, obtained from this link.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So true. When we finally found what we want in life, we embark full steam ahead and devote our entire attention and time on it. When thing gets going our way, we get encouraged and want to do better. Obstacles come and go and we learn from each valuable lesson.

 

Passion keeps us going. It makes us want to do better and aim higher. But somehow we might lose our initial passion and intention which was developed, back when we started our journey. And it is then that we truly learn to slow down and listen to our inner voice. Learning to review and consider our intentions.

 

I like this article a lot. It reminds me that everyone wants different things in life and hence view things differently in life. But everyone will go through this same phase mentioned above in the link. The review part is important because it will bring us back to the initial path if we want to, because sometimes our path tend to change with course and events surrounding us.

 

Friday! Weekend looming ahead! Feels good!

Creativity Is Everywhere

I got a wedding invitation from Farid, a very special friend. We knew each other during Hari Raya open house. And from online exchanges, we become closer friends. Teasing each other with occasional greetings. Happy that he is finally tying the knot with his beloved wife. What amazes me is the concept behind the wedding card.

 

Started with a very humble design on the outside...

Aikkkk... What is this?



It is a flight ticket! No no no... It is actually a wedding invitation card in the form of a boarding pass. Awesome right?



Obviously this looks very much like a flight boarding pass right? When I told him that I have phobia of flight due to the recent MH370 (most mysterious flight tragedy) case, he told me it's a ship boarding pass... (-.-"



 

Anyway, I wish this sweet couple a wonderful marriage in their new chapter of life. May their life be filled with wonders of marriage which will last as long as their wish.

 

A Little Bit About Fly

My colleague told me that when a fly dies, it will excrete out whatever is inside its body. So when we found a dead fly, I kept it sealed in a plastic bag and saw the larvae coming out. No joke, this is one big fly, so my guess is that it is a female fly. I didn't take the trouble to identify the species of the fly though, so I wouldn't know if it's a fruit fly, or whatever fly.

 

 

Shot from this angle reminds me of the mosquito though. Just a resemblance I guess, except for the long thin needle and slimmer feet for mosquito.

 

 

The amount is alarming. No wonder flies breed very fast. This is how much a dead fly has had. And imagine if a fly can lay eggs few times in its lifetime. Urgh! Dreadful huh?

 

The main reason why I shared this is because I find this new-found knowledge interesting. It sort of triggered my primary school memories when we were so curious during science experiments of any possible outcomes. And I was doing just that this round. Curiosity really makes our lives more interesting.

 

Now that my nieces are at home, I couldn't wait for them to be in primary school and share with me their interesting finding at school. Just imagine their excited face then! Heavenly a blessing...

Tokun reminder

April Fool yesterday. Google launched Pokémon hunt. And I got pranked by LJ who put up a serious face and told me that my pants was torn during badminton yesterday. I really believed her, only to be laughed at a second later. That girl ah....

 

Last Sunday I parked my car in Tokun external parking area. My usual practice is to switch off hp and leave it in car while keeping my IC and license and money enough for post-hike breakfast in my pocket. Just when I was about to get off my car and closed the door, my hp beeped signaling an SMS. Being half inside the car, I kneeled on my cushion seat and reached across my car drawer to check the SMS and keep it back inside before heading off to meet up with my friend.

 

Imagine my confusion when I went back to my car after hiking, asking myself... "Did I leave my car window open?" Because I have never done so before. Then it came to my realization that someone broke into my car by breaking the passenger window and stole my hp. My Touch and Go card is still there. So apparently I was being marked already.

 

My mistake. Mom had warned me umpteenth times about the safety there because she had read about it in newspaper several times already. There goes my 2 weeks old Samsung Galaxy Note2. Poor sister! She sold me the hp because she couldn't bear to part with the Note2. She got herself a Note3 since her Digi contract had expired. Oh, well. Lesson learnt! So I scrambled to get my car window replaced and one short change car tint.

 

Had been wanting to change the tint but kept on delaying it since I want to properly budget my expenses. But now that I was already in the car workshop area, might as well do just that. While waiting for about 4.5 hours there, I was reading a book given by CWK. Very interesting book, talking about a Chinese being brought up in Western country. The author did quite a lot of research into the religion and cultural difference between these two sides of the world.

 

Still halfway reading through it. Will share about it if I can summarized it into simple words later. I came across the 8 simple rules of Buddhism and saw it in FB again today, which triggered me to blog today...

 

Right view.

Right intention.

Right speech.

Right action.

Right livelihood.

Right effort.

Right mindfulness.

Right concentration.

I was actually touched by the author's view that religion doesn't distinguish one from another. Why should there be exclusion of belief? Why can't one believe in Islam, Christian, Buddhism and Hinduism at the same time? The important thing is to pick the right thing to do and learn from each other. It really opened up my mind while reading this book.

 

But you really need to focus on the book so I was lucky to have picked that book to bring along during the 4.5 hours wait at the workshop. One event leads to another. Things look brighter when you don't avoid any problem but vow to solve it instead. Worrying without action indeed wastes time, something which I always do. So perhaps it is Law of Attraction which leads to this event, in order to allow to take action rather than delaying it. Thank you!

The Charles Schulz Philosophy

Got this from Bee Hoon and I loved it... Hope you will like it too...

The Charles Schulz Philosophy
(This is marvelous!! Scroll thru slowly and read carefully to receive and enjoy full effect)

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip.

 

You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them.

 

Just read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.

 

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

 

2.. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

 

3.. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.

 

4.. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

 

5.. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

 

6.. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

 

 

How did you do?

 

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.

 

These are no second-rate achievers.

 

They are the best in their fields.

 

But the applause dies ...

 

Awards tarnish ...

 

Achievements are forgotten.

 

 

Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

 

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

 

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

 

2.. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

 

3.. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

 

4.. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

 

5.. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with

 

 

Easier?

 

The lesson:

 

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the
most credentials, the most money ... or the most awards.

 

They simply are the ones who care the most

 

Pass this on to those people who have either made a difference in your life,
or whom you keep close in your heart.

 

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia!"
 

"Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!"

Hacking

Recently Anonymous had threatened to hack Singapore's system after a new rule which impinges on media right was passed (Singapore keeps a very close watch on its media all this while). So when I read about hacking in Fortune September edition, I felt tempted to share it here as well... Just a free-and-easy read...

 

WHILE YOU WERE OUT column

by Stanley Bing

 

Me Talk Stupid One Day

All it took was one careless click, and my Twitter account was hijacked by a clone.

 

HEY THERE. HELLO! Me am counterfeit Stanleybing1@twitter.com. Me hijacked real Stanley Bing Twitter feed about two days ago. Me took he handle and put he picture up just like real Stanley Bing, whoever he is. and now everybody who follow real Stanley Bing think him me and me him and that the way I like it! 'Cause I gotta lotta things to sell all the followers of real Stanley Bing. But that not me! I am clone! Proud clone! It is good to be clone!

 

You may ask how stupid StanleyBing1 gain access to smart real Stanley Bing? Because real Stanley Bing stupid too! He click on message that say, "Hey, Stanley, this is Steve. Somebody is writing a nasty blog about you." Stanley Bing paranoid. He click. He let me in. Here I am! Proud clone! Ha ha ha!

 

You may ask where I live? I no tell. They got plenty pizza there and beer and electricity in wall. That's all me need to live. Plug in wall. Bunch of bots to excrete. We got a party!

 

Okay, you see the way I write you here, and I bet you think I some kind of dummy. You right, 100%. I dumb terminal, spitting out nonsense. Most of what I say computer-generated. Random English, spoke by pigeons, hah! But who care? I got linx. Links! Many, many interesting links.

 

For instance, perhaps you want you penis to be bigger. Who don't, if they got one. Click on me and I get that for you. Also one-tenth of one American cent every time you click. Lots of people want big penis. Big penis mean big money for bots! Think how surprised all followers of real Stanley Bing are to get that message, huh? Make me wanna laugh! Ha ha ha!

 

Helping stuff like that not the only info I got. Some people need better romance, and how. Hubba hubba. So I also very, very busy telling all real Stanley Bing's friends and followers where to get little blue pill of some kind. Also organic herbal remedies that do same thing. GUARANTEED to make your partner happy! That nice. Even bots like happy. And organic.

 

I also very big expert on eyeglasses for some reason. Always shooting out important messages about cheap eyeglasses. Click here to save money on eyeglasses! Or here! How about over here?! Lots and lots and lots of 'em, every couple hours more eyeglass frames at VERY GOOD PRICES. Only thing I can guess is that Stanley Bing's Twitter people need help to get more sexlove and see better too.

 

So life is good! I having very good time talking to all Stanley Bing people and offering all the good merchandise and helping things from world of medicine and herbal food additives that are good for you and NOT AVAILABLE IN ANY STORE. I be very please to do this all day every day 24/7 day after day after day it is great to be Stanleybing1@twitter.com! Come visit! Follow me! Not him!

 

Except something not right. Somebody coming. What? Who? No! They here! Hey! Stop! Poking me! Yanking at my itty-bitty brain! Messing around in my guts! Ow! What? Help! Help! I don't want to dieeee...

 

Hello, everybody. This is me. The real Stanley Bing. I know it's hard to prove it. My picture is the same as that idiot's. The experience of being hacked is weird. It's like a piece of you just got chopped off and left to go floating somewhere in the digital stream. It's my fault. I clicked. He was born. Fortunately, I was able to convince the food folks at Twitter that the twit was not me. He is dead or perhaps back in his bot farm, drooling a bit whole looking at catalogues for Viagra knockoffs. The good news is that in order for a vampire to enter your home, you have to invite him in. I don't intend to do so ever again. One fake persona is enough for me.

 

Reminds of Vampire Diaries. In order for a vampire to enter your home, you need to invite it in. Back to the story... just be careful before you decide to click on whatever things which intrigues you online.

 



Law of Attraction

I am trying to resume my reading routine though it was a bit messy currently. But at least I started somewhere. I would like to share an interesting part from The Secret. Have you heard about Law of Attraction? When I first heard about it, I couldn't agree more. It may talk about a lot more but I would like to sum it up in one word, FAITH. 3 steps is all you need:

 

1. ASK

Ask yourself what you want. Set a clear goal. Better if it can be measurable and quantified.

 

2. BELIEVE

Believe that it is going to happen. Believe that it is already happening.

 

3. RECEIVE

Feel good when you receive it. You might need some action to manifest it but it should be an action to receive, not an action to make it happen.

 

You may not really understand what I am writing here, but if this intrigues you, go ahead and read The Secret or search YouTube for the short video to get some idea.

 

So after these 3 steps, how will things happen? Universe will align itself to match your thoughts. So remember, thoughts become things and you are the master of your own thoughts. Affirmative thoughts are always much stronger than negations. So you will attract things to happen the positive way if you practice the 3 steps above. And it is none of your business to know how will the Universe align itself to your wish. I like this short excerpt below:

 

Think of a car driving through the night. The headlights only go a hundred to two hundred feet forward, yet you can drive it all the way through a two thousand feet journey through the dark, because all you have to see is the next two hundred feet.

 

That's how life unfolds before us. If you trust that the next two hundred feet will unfold after that, and the next two hundred feet will unfold after that, your life will keep unfolding. And you will reach destination in the end, just because whatever it is you truly want, you get it because you want it.

 

Well written, don't have to think too far but you can visualize the outcome. From there, you just need to take things one at a time with your goal clear in mind. And wahlah.... the Law of Attraction works each time, with unwavering faith.

Something to Brighten Up the Day

7 Principles of Eagles

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PRINCIPLE 1

Eagles fly alone at high altitude and not with sparrows or other small birds. No other bird can get to the height of the eagle. Stay away from sparrows and ravens.

 

Eagles fly with Eagles.

 

 

PRINCIPLE 2

Eagles have strong vision. They have the ability to focus on something up to five kilometers away. When an eagle sites his prey, he narrows his focus on it and set out to get it. No matter the obstacles, the eagle will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it.

 

Have a vision and remain focused no matter what the obstacle will be and you will succeed.

 

 

PRINCIPLE 3

Eagles do not eat dead things. They feed only on fresh prey. Vultures eat dead animals, but eagles will not.

 

Be careful with what you feed your eyes and ears with, especially in movies and on TV. Steer clear of outdated and old information. Always do your research well.

 

 

PRINCIPLE 4

Eagles love the storm. When clouds gather, the eagles get excited. The eagle uses the storm's wind to lift it higher. Once it finds the wind of the storm, the eagle uses the raging storm to lift him above the clouds. This gives the eagle an opportunity to glide and rest its wings. In the meantime, all the other birds hide in the leaves and branches of the trees.

 

We can use the storms of life to rise to greater heights. Achievers relish challenges and use them profitably.

 

 

PRINCIPLE 5

The eagle tests before it trusts. When a female eagle meets a male and they want to mate, she flies down to earth with the male pursuing her and she picks a twig. She flies back into the air with the male pursuing her.

 

Once she has reached a height high enough for her, she lets the twig fall to the ground and watches it as it falls. The male chases after the twig. The faster it falls, the faster he chases it. He has to catch it before it falls to the ground. He then brings it back to the female eagle.

The female eagle grabs the twig and flies to a higher altitude and then drops the twig for the male to chase. This goes on for hours, with the height increasing until the female eagle is assured that the male eagle has mastered the art of catching the twig which shows commitment. Then and only then, will she allow him to mate with her.

 

Whether in private life or in business, one should test commitment of people intended for partnership.

 

 

PRINCIPLE 6

When ready to lay eggs, the female and male eagle identify a place every high on a cliff where no predators can reach. The male flies to earth and picks thorns and lays them on the crevice of the clidd, then flies to earth again to collect twigs which he lays in the intended nest. He flies back to earth and picks thorns laying them on top of the twigs. He flies back to earth and picks soft grass to cover the thorns.

 

When this first layering is complete the male eagle runs back to earth and picks more thorns, lays them on the nest; runs back to get grass on top of the thorns, then plucks his feathers to complete the nest. The thorns on the outside of the nest protect it from possible intruders. Both male and female eagles participate in raising the eagle family. She lays the eggs and protects them; he builds the nest and hunts. During the time of training the young ones to fly, the mother eagle throws the eaglets out of the nest. Because they are scared, they will jump into the nest again.

 

Next, she throws them out and then takes off the soft layers of the nest, leaving the thorns bare. When the scared eaglets again jump into the nest, they are pricked by thorns. Shrieking and bleeding they jump out again, this time wondering why the mother and father who love them so much are torturing them. Next, mother eagle pushes them off the cliff into the air. As they shriek in fear, father eagle flies out and catches them up on his back before they fall and brings them back to the cliff. This goes on for sometime until they start flapping their wings. They get excited at this new found knowledge that they can fly.

 

The preparation of the nest teaches us to prepare for changes. The preparation for the family teaches us that active participation of both partners leads to success. The being pricked by the thorns tells us that sometimes being too comfortable where we are may result into our not experiencing life, not progressing and not learning at all. The thorns of life come to teach us that we need to grow, get out of the nest and live on. We may not know it but the seemingly comfortable and safe haven may have thorns.

 

The people who love us do not let us languish in sloth but push us hard to grow and prosper. Even in their seemingly bad actions they have good intentions for us. 

 

 

PRINCIPLE 7

When an eagle grows old, his feathers become weak and cannot take him as fast as he should. When he feels weak and about to die, he retires to a place far away in the rocks. While there, he plucks out every feather on his body until he is completely bare. He stays in this hiding place until he has grown new feathers, then he can come out.

 

We occasionally need to shed off old habits and items that burden us without adding to our lives.

 

Anagrams

Anagrams: You can transpose or re-arrange the letters in a word or phrase to become another word or phrase. Always interesting to see what might turn out from a word or a phrase. So here it goes...

Presbyterian

- Best in prayer

Astronomer

- Moon starer (I believe it should be spelled with two 'r' though)

Desperation

- A rope ends it

The eyes

- They see

George Bush

- He bugs Gore

The Morse Code

- Here come dots

Dormitory

- Dirty room

Slot machines

 - Cash lost in me

Animosity

- Is no amity (amity = friendship)

Election results

- Lie, let's recount

Snooze alarms

- Alas! No more Z's

A decimal point

- I'm a dot in place

The earthquakes

- That queer shake

Eleven plus two

- Twelve plus one

Mother-in-law

- Woman Hitler

Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationship or LDR... Heard about this topic on the radio today.

Been wondering about it too. JS might be going back to JB mid 2014. When he broke the news to me, he didn't ask what did I think or feel about it and I didn't know how to react. But a day later, I just told him that when he goes back to JB, we shall maintain LDR.

I don't know whether it is advisable or not but my suggestion was partly due to the fact that I will start a new job in Aug 2013. To resign so soon and go to JB seems irresponsible to me. Too bad JS didn't decide earlier, because if he did, probably I will just stay put in current company until mid 2014.

I did ask him about his plan when I was contemplating the options I had when I decided to leave the current company. Come to think about it, there might not be much difference after all. Just probably will be missing each other in the beginning and will feel sweeter when we finally meet up I guess.

Because even as of now, we are not really in the 'love is hot in the air' kind of stage anymore. Reached a plateau. Sometimes it gets so routine or boring. Taking each other for granted that sort of thing. So not meeting up that frequent might not be too bad after all.

I didn't manage to follow the radio broadcast all the way till the end. But there are just two ending. It's a matter of trust and responsibility. Those independent ladies feel that it is alright to maintain the current LDR status despite being alone handling kids and households. I guess I am in that category.

While some ladies had broken marriages due to their husbands being involved in infidelities. Really, there is no single way to deal with LDR, as independent or sticky type of guys or ladies require different stuff. Just pick the one which suits you.

If you can't stand being apart, never choose LDR. Make some sacrifice; either one needs to move to another state or country. If you can, then God bless your relationship and have faith in your partner, yourself and God as well.

The Story of A Successful Dad

I am taking this from Fortune 1st July edition. The title 'A CEO's hardest choice' caught my attention immediately. I find that I just had to share this, not because he is a successful man, but due to his fatherly instinct and his undivided love and care for his son. And so it coincides with Father's Day which was 2 weeks ago.

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LARS DALGAARD sold SuccessFactors to SAP for $3.4 billion. Then his 2-year-old son was diagnosed with leukemia. by Michal Lev-Ram.

On the morning of Friday, May 24, former SuccessFactors CEO Lars Dalgaard stood in front of several hundred employees in a dark suit and an ivory-coloured tie. The normally dressed-down executive was known for his rambling, town-hall-style speeches; this one would be his last.

Earlier that morning SAP - the German software giant that acquired SuccessFactors for $3.4 billion just 18 months earlier - had announced that Dalgaard was stepping down from his role as head of SuccessFactors and leader of the larger company's cloud business. "I'm going to be an investor in a venture capital firm," Dalgaard told the audience. Behind him a sign inscribed with some of his favorite quotes read, IF YOU DON'T LOVE WHAT YOU'RE DOING, GO WORK SOMEWHERE ELSE.

It was a likely ending to a common Silicon Valley tale -  studies show that over two-thirds of CEOs who sell their company leave the acquiring firm within two years. While Dalgaard, 45, had been given a seat on SAP's powerful executive board, many speculated that the brash, outspoken CEO wouldn't last long in SAP's more buttoned-up culture.

But his departure had a much more personal catalyst - his father's sudden death and his young son's battle with acute lymphoblastic leukemia, a cancer that attacks the body's blood-forming tissues. Dalgaard's story is an extreme example of the difficult choices executives make when balancing work and family. "I thought I was awake before, but I woke up bigtime," he says.

Love him or hate him - there are partisans in both camps - Dalgaard speaks his mind. The 6-foot-3 former Unilever exec, originally from Denmark, is known for his brutal honesty and wrenching displays of emotion - he has cried in front of employees on several occasions. After taking over human resources software firm SuccessFactors in 2001, Dalgaard retooled the failing startup into one of the largest cloud-computing companies, taking it public in 2007.

On Dec.3, 2011, SAP - a decades-old business software vendor that had spent years trying to break into the cloud - announced it was buying SuccessFactors for $3.4 billion. Dalgaard, who speaks about the cloud with born-again fervor, was given a seat on SAP's executive board. He spent the first few months at the new company crisscrossing the globe, spreading the gospel of cloud-based software to employees and customers.

After a brief family vacation in Malibu, Calif., in May 2012, Dalgaard was once again packing his bags - this time for an SAP shareholder meeting in Mannheim, Germany. But he couldn't stop looking at his son, Lars Jr., who hadn't been his usual bouncy self for two days. Tiny red spots had appeared on Lars Jr.'s body, and he was listless. "He was like a piece of melted brie," recalls Dalgaard.

His then-pregnant partner took Lars Jr. to a nearby emergency room. A short while later, as he was about to get into a limo and head to the airport, Dalgaard called her to check in. "I asked, 'So what is it?'" he says. "I was still in business mode." The doctors at UCLA Medical Center had discovered that Lars Jr. had an abnormally high white blood cell count,a sign of leukemia.

Dalgaard threw down his suitcase and rushed to the hospital. Just six hours later, he was  deciding which batch of heavy-duty chemotherapy drugs to pump into his son's body - the doctors didn't want to lose any time. The treatment would kill the quickly replicating bad blood cells, but it would destroy good ones too.

At SuccessFactors, Dalgaard was known for his colorful pep talks. He also had a reputation as a demanding boss who once kept employees working straight through Christmas Eve. Like many CEOs, he was a multitasking workaholic who slept little and spent most of his time on a private jet. But shortly after his son got sick, Dalgaard called SAP's co-CEOs to tell them he was out. It didn't work - they persuaded him to stay on, even if it meant they wouldn't be seeing much of him in the coming months. "I told him, 'Be with your son and your family,'" says Bill McDermott, co-CEO of SAP. " 'We\'ll take you as you are, and you don't have to get on any plane for SAP.' "

At over 90%, the survival rate for children with leukemia is quite high. But the lengthy treatment they must endure all but wipes out their immune systems and wreaks havoc on their bodies. During the first few months of treatment, Lars Jr. received a concoction of chemotherapy drugs with unpronounceable names like daunarubicin, pegaaspargase, and methotrexate. Some had to be injected directly into his spine.

"You're literally destroying your child because you know it can save him," says Dalgaard, who spent a total of 200 nights at the hospital with his son over the past year. When Lars Jr. woke up screaming and tried to pull out his many tubes in the middle of the night, Dalgaard calmed him down with songs and imaginary yarns. He changed diapers full of toxic excretions - a result of the chemotherapy drugs - and held little Lars's hand while nurses, oncologists, hematologists, and anesthesiologists poked and prodded him.

He bought hundreds of Lego sets and books, anything to keep his son occupied during long hospital days. When Lars Jr.'s hair began to fall out, Dalgaard shaved his own head in solidarity. "Your job becomes keeping him normal," says Dalgaard. "What you don't want to come out of it is that he becomes unsociable person because he's scared of the whole world."

Despite the side effects, Lars Jr. responded well to treatment. Eventually Dalgaard bought a house in Malibu so that his family would have their own place to live between the many hospital stays - and where he could occasionally get away to work. He set up a videoconferencing room where he could sit in on SAP's board meetings and talk to employees. "It ended up helping me to have that," says Dalgaard. "Those are the two things I did: I worked, and I took care of him. I did nothing else."

By early winter Dalgaard was feeling optimistic. His partner had given birth to a healthy baby girl, whom they named Khaleesi Annalisa. (She is named after a character in the Game of Thrones series.) While still in and out of the hospital for treatments, Lars Jr. was making progress. His hair was even starting to grow back in. Dalgaard thought the worst was behind them; a sense of normalcy started creeping back into their lives.

A few days before Christmas, Dalgaard took his family to a friend's house in Los Angeles to watch an early screening of the movie Lincoln. "It was the first time we were actually mingling in society again," Dalgaard recalls. Lars Jr. was playing with the other kids in the house but seemed lethargic and felt hot. He had a fever - potentially lethal for a small child with a reduced capacity to fight off infections.

Dalgaard drove to the emergency room, and over the next few days Lard Jr. was fed a steady drip of antibiotics - in addition to the usual dose of chemo. His immune system worsened, and he became agitated, screaming and yelling at the sight of needles. On Christmas Eve, still stuck in the hospital, Dalgaard drew a makeshift tree on a large whiteboard in Lars Jr.'s room. (Plants weren't allowed inside.) He decorated it with starts and stuck small toys and sticks on it. "You feel completely powerless," says Dalgaard. "So you resort to things you can do something about."

On a warm day in early May, just before his father unexpectedly died (and three weeks before he stepped down from his role at SAP), Dalgaard held yet another of his signature town-hall-style meetings at SuccessFactors' South San Francisco office. It happened to be "take your kids to work day" at the office, and Lars Jr. - along with at least a dozen other children of employees - was in the room.

His dark hair had grown back, and he was standing near the rear with his nanny. After the usual impromptu speech about how employees should love what they do, Dalgaard handed over the microphone to SuccessFactors' chief people officer and swiftly made his way across the room to pick up his son, whose cancer is now officially in remission (Lars Jr., now 3, will need to take "maintenance" chemotherapy drugs for the next three years.)

"It put things in perspective for him," says Jesper Tullin, Dalgaard's longtime friend and head of a Denmark-based real estate management portfolio. "You can say all the right words before you get into a situation like this, but now he knows what he gives highest priority."

Dalgaard is the first to admit that he has the luxury to live the way he wants, and that not having to worry about money enabled him to focus on his son. But he is far from retiring. He says he will stay on as "cloud adviser" at SAP, working one day a week at the SuccessFactors office. And top Silicon Valley venture capital firm Andreessen Horowitz recently announced Dalgaard will join as its newest general partner. "We want people who have built a company in a way that people who were part of that process would do it again a thousand times," says Ben Horowitz, the firm's co-founder. "Lars is going to create other companies," adds Marc Benioff, CEO of Salesforce.com. "Lars is a wild man."

Indeed, Dalgaard says he believes his new role as an investor will enable him to create "hundreds" of SuccessFactors. He says that he is ready for his new life, and that his son taught him the power of taking the time to check in with his emotions. At the all-hands meeting on May 24 to announce his departure, Dalgaard encouraged employees to learn from his experience too. "I think it's okay that your work-life balance is a little more normal [under SAP]," Lars told his former team. "I was pretty much killing you all every day. But it's actually okay to have a family."

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