Void

U ever heard about black hole? That's what I am feeling right now. Big void but I am not sure why. Feeling down but can't really explain. I think I am playing self-blame game now. Sigh! I hate this feeling. I don't even have the mood to post on my Bangkok experience.

One thing I really can't understand is, why can't I really smile in office? Why must I turn very serious at work? Can't help it. Seemed like double personality ya, serious at work and playful. Oh, I also don't want to face people with very serious face but it's on auto mode. No matter how hard I tried, in the end it still goes back to square one. Sigh!

I just miss Bangkok this moment. I miss the lotus pond of my hotel lobby. I miss the 'close to nature' feel. I feel like just sitting quietly doing nothing, perhaps gazing at the starry night while getting some mosquito bites on and off (well.... perhaps not the mosquito bites).

flowers in the hotel lobby toilet

the lotus pond in my hotel lobby

at benjasiri park a.k.a queen's park

we have these in the hotel's lotus pond too, this was taken in front of a bank

U will know what I mean when u see these pictures below. I wanna become like this when I return to office. Why can't I? Sigh! Heavy responsibility? Nah, all this while I have been handling the same responsibility and obligation. No one to push me around? Nah, I can still push myself. I think I am blaming myself.

acting like a gangster, squatting by such a beautiful pot of flowers, ironic isn't it?

ya, this is what i need. a loving smile!

'fragile like a tofu' baby

Now not even the kids at my home can cheer my up currently. Sigh! I need to regain my positive energy fast!

p/s: I think to write a post without photo is so so much faster and hassle-free!

MIA for almost a MONTH

MIA for a month (MIA stands for Missing In Action). Where have I been to? To the City of Angels, or more commonly known as Bangkok. I knew many new friends and definitely have so much fun there. Don't get me wrong, I went there for training purpose, not for vacation ok? 3 weeks is too short for the training but at least, I get the chance to go there. So I shall count my blessings.

There are some sweet and sour moments while being there, but most of them are sweet memories (thank God!). From having diarrhea to visiting places which I definitely love, from massage to shopping, you bet I am having my fun there. But one thing for sure, I did miss M'sia food as most Thai food esp. the hawker food is either sweet or spicy. I actually prefer some saltiness in the taste.

Imagine my reaction when I ate a sweet char koay teow (they call it pad thai). Back in M'sia it's more towards salty rather than sweet. Mr Roy, our trainer mentioned that we must have stainless steel stomach to take the roadside hawker food. I agree with him but some of the roadside stall is too tempting to bother about that. Hence, my 2-3 times experience of stomach upsets.

I even had fever during my first Friday there. Haha! Now that I come to think about it, there are many more stories I would like to share. Some funny ones, some spooky ones. So stay tuned for further updates in Aug then. I shall post one by one. In fact, I had already lined up the stories I wanted to write about. I thought I will miss Bangkok a lot when I come back to M'sia.

But I realized that I am still OK with it. Instead, I keep on seeing my UFM friends posting the 'miss Bangkok' phrase. I like this experience and I am glad that I am going over to Bangkok again in October.