IT Jargons on Relationship Matters

Shared this from Afdlin Shauki's FB post...

Dear IT Support,

 

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

 

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

 

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

 

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Housewife

 

Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind:

Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

 

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

 

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1. Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly. wav files.

 

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

 

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

 

You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

 

Good Luck,
IT Support

#100happydays Day 53 240814

Happy Day 53 (24/08/2014)

Tried Javanese massage with guasa.

 

 

Guasa using coins.

Damn painful.

Was said to have too much winds in my body.

 

How did the masseuse know?

Because my skin goes red very fast once she did the guasa.

I do admit that I have a lot of wind.

 

Felt so troubled yesterday because I couldn't get rid of them.

Despite the guasa session.

Must try the ginger + lemongrass water.



#100happydays Day 52 230814

Happy Day 52 (23/08/2014)

Brought mom to PathLab for blood checkup.

Watched Lucy, great movie!

Played badminton in Kulim and tested LiNing shuttlecock.

Tried the new place in Kulim, called Anak Kulim Eatery.

 

 

Made-from-scratch wooden furnitures.

I miss those school-time stools.

Background music was so comfortable.

 

Even these are being hand-made.

Robot!

Nicely decorated iced green tea latte.

Great hue.

But it can be further improved.

This is my favorite.

Eggplant rice.

Simple and home-cook feel.

Rice served warm, makes it even more appetizing.

Nasi lemak also served warm, delicious curry.

Will be better if it is coconut milk rice though.

Final surprise, I met Jessie.

My primary schoolmate.

Surprise is the most pleasant when you least expect it.

*wink wink*



#100happydays Day 51 220814

Happy Day 51 (22/08/2014)
New staff joining us soon.
Finally!

2nd and 15th September 2014.
Can do more stuff with more manpower.
Ini macam baru power!

#100happydays Day 50 210814

Happy Day 50 (21/08/2014)

Realized that life doesn't have to be busy always.

Made some time for myself to do what I feel like doing.

 

Off from work earlier than usual.

Went to shop for the items I need.

Bought dinner.

 

Played with Dou Dou awhile.

Washed my hair.

Did some AKY practice.

 

Really felt calmer and at peace.

When you make time for whatever stuff you are doing,

you feel better.

 

What matters is making time for what matters to you.

Not doing things in a rush is a luxury meant for everyone.

Reminds me that I am still a human :)

 



#100happydays Day 49 200814

Happy Day (20/08/2014)

Colleague's belated birthday celebration.

Butterworth Cafe in Teluk Air Tawar.

Black Erdinger in Library Raja Uda.
 

 

Can't resist them.

One is called Salt, another is called Pepper.

1 hole for Salt.

3 holes for Pepper.

 

 

She is "25" years old.

Black coffee!



#100happydays Day 48 190814

Happy Day 48 (19/08/2014)

 Took some time to notice my surrounding.
Take a short break and start to notice life in a slow manner.
Stop the rush here and rush there.

 



Still alive.

Blooming despite lack of water.

Talking about the advancement of technology.

#100happydays Day 47 180814

Happy Day 47 (18/08/2014)

Very brief and rushed FSMS team meeting.

Flexibility and adjustments made and learnt.

 

 

Last minute changed venue.

External auditor used the meeting room.

Last minute scramble and notification to other team members.

 

Thank you to my junior for exchanging the room for me.

Very nice and polite lady.

Like her a lot!

 

Low turnouts.

This month doesn't seem to be a good month for meeting.

Been postponed for several times.

 

No more other dates for postpone.

Some are going for company trip for a week.

Would be Sept if need to postpone.

 

So went ahead with the meeting.

Not too bad.

Still have some outcomes.

#100happydays Day 46 170814

Happy Day 46 (17/08/2014)

Hiked Monkey Beach to and fro.

Facial session.

 

 

Happy that they accommodate my request.

Hike to and fro.

8.45am until 1.15pm.

4.5 hours plus rest time.

Well done.

 

 

Slept like a log throughout facial session.

Heavenly.

#100happydays Day 45 160814

Happy Day 45 (16/08/2014)

Finally completed all my SHL assessments.

Had a heart-to-heart talk with dear about future plans.

 

 

I know my drawing is lousy, bear with me please.

Been awhile we didn't really communicate properly.

Suddenly feel the need to know his thoughts.

 

To calibrate our mind.

No conclusion but at least we understand each other better.

So many uncertainties lying ahead.

 

Not sure how to navigate it through.

Have faith and everything will flow, hopefully.

Law of Attraction!



#100happydays Day 44 150814

Happy Day 44 (15/08/2014)

Phor Tor prayer in office.

Settled staff interview.

Did another long distance call.

Got my FOC luggage from Hong Leong credit card.

 

 

Never really use the face-to-face function.

Have always been a typing rather than talking type.

End up I called long distance call to India.

Less than RM15 for a 20++ minutes call, not too bad!

 



#100happydays Day 43 140814

Happy Day 43 (14/08/2014)

Going back to Malaysia finally!

 

Getting old.

Just want to get home ASAP.

My first business trip where I don't wander much.

Packed schedule.

#100happydays Day 42 130814

Happy Day 42 (13/08/2014)

Settled discussion with customer.

Sneak some time for a little bit of sightseeing.
Only have mood to snap picture after settle work stuff.
 

 

Hong Kong breakfast.

Not used to their milk tea though.

I prefer Malaysian breakfast.

These feels so.... instant.

 

Dry wantan noodle.

Very thin.

Similar to Taiwan's zhar jiang mian.

 

I like Msia's wantan noodle soup better.

This noodle has firm bite despite the thin strands.

Soup... like that lo... nothing special.

 

The famous wantan noodle chain restaurant.

 

This reminds me of the MTRs they are taking.

So convenient. Just go down the subway.

Waiting time is less than 1 minute.

But it is can be very crowded and hectic during peak hours.

See also pek chek!

 

Saw this somewhere along the Harbour City.

I like it, no special reason.

Just felt connected to it.

 

Happiness: Good health + Bad memory.

Simple yet true.

 

Stamp vending machine.

So convenient.

I wish I can see this in all the countries I go.

 

But then, I feel that it is a good experience to visit post office.

The old school look.

 



#100happydays Day 41 120814

Happy Day 41 (12/08/2014)

First time in Hong Kong.

Business trip.

First impression: people mountain people sea.
 

 

Nice hotel.

Love the set up and the view.

 

See through bathroom.

Of course there is curtain lah!

My conclusion:

It's for those in the bathroom to look out

rather than the other way round.

 

 



Been raining on and off.

Hongkies grade their rain or storm to 3 colors:

Red, Orange and Black.

 

We experience Red during our stay.

Black refers to bad storm where you are not supposed to go anywhere.

Never knew rain can look so beautiful from my hotel's window.

 

 

The pantry at my customer's side.

Reminds me of Google office.

Looks cool!

#100happydays Day 40 110814

Happy Day 40 (11/08/2014)

Busy day before head off to Hong Kong business trip.

Good experience with customer audit.
Mom's pattaya fried rice is so perfect!

 

 

Exposure to outside world is always good.

Gives different insight.

 

Looks so perfect.

Felt heavy-hearted to destroy the perfect shape for my stomach.

 

Damage had been done!

One of the best dinner I had.

Probably because I felt tired and this greeted me.

Very heart-warming indeed!

Simple thing is always the best pleasure in life.

#100happydays Day 39 100814

Happy Day 39 (10/08/2014)

First time hiking Air Itam dam.

Knew more new friends.

 

 

So colourful.

So vibrant.

 

Damn.

Opps... I mean dam!



#100happydays Day 38 090814

Happy Day 38 (09/08/2014)

Attended a class related to wealth management.
Bought our very first couple shirt :)
Beautiful heavy rain.

 

 

Quite insightful.

It was about different interest rate.

Learnt terms like future value, nominal rate, effective rate etc.

 

 

As Chinese saying goes:

Learning is a life-long process.

Anak nakal - mischievous child :)

 

The ever soothing rain droplets...

 

#100happydays Day 37 080814

Happy Day 38 (08/08/2014)

Day trip to KL.

Another possible milestone in my life.

Met up with my lovely FYP partner.

Had a good talk.

 Nervous to the core.

But since I was already there, I just gave my best.

Meet up with new faces.

Revealing another side of corporate world.

More exposures.

 

When we open up our mind,

there will be endless opportunities.

 

 

Dr. Yeo in Taylor's University.

CLY is kind enough to spend her whole day with me.

Thank you partner!

 

Yup, taking Malindo flight back to PG.

My first flight with Malindo.

Still alive, thank God.

 

Service was good.

Air stewardesses were young and slim.

Unlike the other carrier.

Oppsss....



#100happydays Day 36 070814

Happy Day 36 (07/08/2014)

Another humour to relax myself.

 

 

And I can ask:

Mirror, mirror on the wall...

What will happen today?

For every single day.

 

Oh ok, back to reality.

Snap snap.

 



#100happydays Day 35 060814

Happy Day 35 (06/08/2014)

Some humor.

 

 

My reaction was: =.=!

 



#100happydays Day 34 050814

Happy Day 34 (05/08/2014)

Got our group selfie from the James Foo gathering.

 

We didn't take group photo.

So Sean suggested us to take selfie and Whatsapp to her.

She compiled and this is the outcome.

Not bad.

 

The Perfect You.

I like the caption.



#100happydays Day 33 040814

Happy Day 33 (04/08/2014)

FOC hair treatment by Image2u.

Nice smell.

Even dear noticed it.

 

No intention to continue the hair or scalp treatment.

Expensive.

But good result.

But there was an urge to invest in this aspect though.

 

If you don't invest in this, who will?

Like what Chinese say...

There is no ugly lady, only lazy lady.

 

Agreed and true indeed!

#100happydays Day 32 030814

Happy Day 32 (03/08/2014)

Atma Kriya Yoga group practice and Om Healing session.

Raining so couldn't hike, be it in island or mainland.

Finished my presentation slide finally.

 

Thank you for the help, dear.



#100happydays Day 31 020814

Happy Day 31 (02/08/2014)

Accompanied dear for physio session.

Cleaned up his old rented place to return to landlord.

Good exercise and very tiring indeed.

Had dinner with Keng Fai and Poh Ling who came all the way from Penang.

 

Managed to catch up with long-ignored Reader's Digest,

while waiting for dear to finish his physio session.

 



Another magazine waiting for me to harass.

Not counting my Fortune magazines.

Shame on me.

 

Had few bouts of impatience and outburst of anger while cleaning his old place.

Must have caught dear by surprise.

Probably he would have been used to my bad temper by now.

Can't help. When I see messy place, I am practically impatient.

 

We parked wrongly at his new place.

The owner of the car park parked blocked our path.

Luckily dear had the sense to find the owner of the car.

If me, I will just wait for the owner to come out.

Which might be night time by then.

 

After hearing our explanation, the friendly neighbor was understanding.

He was kind enough to give some tips to dear.

We left a notice on the car which parked at dear's place.

 

Had dinner with dear, Keng Fai and Poh Ling.

Went to Soong Xian Restaurant.

Been awhile haven't come here.

Didn't even know that the Kam Hiong fried eggplant is so famous.

Overall food is ok.

#100happydays Day 30 010814

Happy Day 30 (01/08/2014)

First month for 5 days working week.

 

No need to work tomorrow.

Awesomely good Friday!

 

 

Gathered with Susan, Yikling, Khunni, Suhuei and Sean.

We didn't snap photo.

Hence, the need to snap selfie to send to Sean for her compilation.

God knows what her creative juice will end up with later.

 

My first selfie using Blackberry.

Not bad at all.

*wink wink*



#100happydays Day 29 310714

Happy Day 29 (31/07/2014)

Did some analysis work.

Had to skip badminton for that.

Felt resentful and tired at first but I was glad finally.

 

Why?

Because I am still capable to be dedicated to work after all.

Thank you God for the blessing.

#100happydays Day 28 300714

Day 28 (30/07/2014)

First day back to work after Raya break.

Had a good yoga session despite only 3 of us.

Life feels fresh.

#100happydays Day 27 290714

Happy Day 27 (29/07/2014)

Heading back to Penang.

Had a heart-warming snack to accompany us.

Great lunch in Three Little Pigs in Bangsar Village.

 

Cherries and blueberries.

Sweet to the core.

Home-made bread.

Tastes good.

Three Little Pigs.

Nice ambience.

Good waiting service.

Of course price is not bad too.

But worth it.

Egg Benedict served with smoke salmon and Holande sauce on bread.

Egg tasted bland hence the pairing with the salty smoked salmon is just timely.

Main tipu a bit by poaching the egg in plastic bag, hence the groove lines seen.

Can't say main tipu eh, probably they do that to save up time and to have more consistency.

 

My second time trying this.

First time was when I was in JB.

Thank you dear for wanting to share such a good place with me.