C.H.E.R.I.S.H.

I believed most of us had read this before but I guess no harm sharing it here....

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each other of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long,t he entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered... 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of the special student. She had never seen a servicemen in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin. As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. 'Were you Mark's math teacher?' he asked. She nodded, 'Yes.' Then he said, 'Mark talked about you a lot.'

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher. 'We want to show you something' his father said,t asking a wallet out of his pocket. 'They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.'

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. 'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.'

Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.'

'I have mine too,' Marilyn said, 'It's in my diary.'

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and shower her worn and frazzled list to the group, 'I carry this with at all times,' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: 'I think we all saved our lists.'

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be. So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late... C.H.E.R.I.S.H. is the word of the day...

Stone With Round Edges

Recently, I encountered something which caught me off guard at work. Needless to say, it's unpleasant enough to throw me into a shocking state, so much so that I got very emotional and felt like blasting M16 into those involved. Now that several days had passed, I felt much better that it's actually a blessing in disguise. I finally got to know the truth behind those masked faces.

To be fair, I didn't hear it from the person himself, so some words or meanings might get twisted along the way. But I will do my own judgment from here onwards. My conclusion was that there can't be merely pure  innocent working relationship in any company. Politics exist, especially when seniors are still around. Most of the time, you don't even realize you are in the middle of it, being puppeted against your awareness.

You bet the emotional me felt a rush of emotional outburst. The feeling of having to coup up your outburst because you wouldn't want your colleagues to see it.... omg, it's so unbearable. It is always good to have someone to talk to about it. I just need a listener. Just listen to me babbling unreasonably, shooting out ideas which seemed too impractical to sane people. That's why it's called outburst, you see? After venting out, may all hell break loose, as long as my heart was empty of grudge and hatred.

It got onto my nerve so much that I had the actual gut to post my inner outburst on FB 15 minutes before off-work hours. And I did add my seniors in FB. Imagine that! When I checked my page few days later, I was stunned seeing the supports my friends gave me. It's true when people say true friendship persists; you don't have to meet all the time, but there will always be a space in our mind to think of them. Thank God for this.

The words of wisdom and support I got are priceless. And it so happened that those few pages in FB were actually posting posts which were describing what I felt. Some served as a reminder to me as well. I sent out emails to those with whom I always shared my inner thoughts with and I got very encouraging replies. Some shared with me their wisdom, experience and some offered solace.

One of it is definitely my favorite and really spells out the wisdom of how over the years, wisdom were built into you. Chinese has a saying which goes "old ginger is always the spiciest". Respect is earned and she has definitely earned mine. Salute to her. This is what she wrote to me:

"When I was a junior, there is only black and white in my world, later I learn about grey. There are people with high IQ in the company, but then I observe only those with high EQ survive well and have more friends. I was a stone with hard edges but over these years those edges become rounder. I think it will take the whole life to become a round stone. However, never underestimate this small stone, they will get their toes hurt if anybody were to kick it."

So beautifully written. Which reminds me that we don't have to be aggressive all the time to score our points. We can sharpen our knives in preparation for any looming attacks, but only for self-defense, not for attacking purpose. I think my description sounds very extreme but that's how I am going to put it. My own motto, only treat others the way you want others to treat you.

To be misjudged and to be slandered that way when you were actually fighting for someone else; to be left in the middle of nowhere when you know your superior is supposed to look after you... ouch, that hurts! Not that I never knew my superior is hopeless in this case. I had felt the sharp plunge of his knife in my chest during my first year at work. Perhaps I was really shocked because I had lowered down my guard.

This shall serve as a good reminder to me, to maintain constant vigilance even though you might be close to someone. I wouldn't want to end up being a cold stone towards everyone. So I vow to treat everyone warmly, upgrade my EQ and hope to try to make everyone feel comfortable in my presence. I wasn't very good in it, honestly but I know it can be done if I put my heart in it. Where there is a will, there is a way.

Thank you for all the supports and advices given. The world is still full of warmth, so I learnt!

10 Best Interview Questions To Ask

I have several people around me who were looking into changing new work environment. Some were not satisfied with current remuneration, some disliked the environment. At this present economic status, it is no secret that most companies will only be able to reward their employees at a bare minimum rate. It is a difficult time for everyone, for the staff and the boss. Usually the highest turnover rate will be after the increment or bonus payment, which means either it's end of the year, early of the year or somewhere around March or April.

I have come across an article in Yahoo citing 10 interview questions which might help you to score points with you potential boss and wish to share it here. It was written by Alison Green who writes the Ask A Manager blog, advising on career, job search and management issues. She also authored the book Managing to Change the World: The Nonprofit Leader's Guide to Getting Results. Here are the 10 great questions:

1. What are the biggest challenges the person in this position will face?

2. Can you describe a typical day or week in the position?

3. What would a successful first year in the position look like?

4. How will the success of other person in this position be measured?

5. How long did the previous person in the role hold the position? What has turnover in the role generally been like?

6. How would you describe the culture here? What type of people tend to really thrive, and what type don't do as well?

7. How would you describe your management style?

8. Thinking back to the person who you've seen do this job best, what made their performance so outstanding?

9. Are there any reservations you have about my fit for the position that I could try to address?

10. What is your time line for getting back tot he candidates about the next steps?

No matter what kind of questions you ask, in the end it still goes back to our own self to sell our self out to the interviewer. Show some interest and do some research on company background and products. Show that you are the fit for the job. To me, attitude scores more than academic credentials. Whether you are driven by salary or satisfaction / challenge a job might bring you, it all boils down to one thing, drawing salary from your prospective employer. Unless you want to be self-employed, you will need to learn to work with your boss.

Talking about interview, I haven't attended much interview myself. And I dreaded the moment if I have to go for interviews again some time in the future. But I am sure I can cook something up if there is a need be. As for now, I feel that I still have room for growth for my current work. So I will be lingering for a while longer. 4 years.... time flies just like that and yet I feel that there is so much more for me to learn about my industry. 4 years is just kindergarten level if you ask me...

8 Observations About Everyday Life

Again, taken from Reader's Digest (http://www.rdasia.com/)...

My favourite is the one by Jean Paul Richter...

Have you ever noticed?

Anybody going slower than you is an idiot,

and anyone going faster than you is a moron.

~George Carlin~

Why do they call it rush hour

when nothing moves?

~Robin Williams~

A bank is a place that will lend you money

if you can prove that you don't need it.

~Bob Hope~

A perfect parent is a person

with excellent child-rearing theories

and no actual children.

~Dave Barry~

Mobile phones are the only subject on which man boast about

who's got the smallest.

~Neil Kinnock~

For sleep, riches and health to be truly enjoyed,

they must be interrupted.

~Jean Paul Richter~

Man is the only animal that blushes.

Or needs to.

~Mark Twain~

Polite conversation is rarely either.

~Fran Lebowitz~

7 Funny Insights Into Relationships

Quoted from Reader's Digest (http://www.rdasia.com/).

My favourite is the last quote...

No matter what kind of backgrounds two men are from,

if you go "Hey, man, women are crazy",

you've got a friend.

~Chris Rock~

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man

is when he's a baby.

~Natalie Wood~

According to Modern Bride magazine,

the average bride spends 150 hours planning her wedding.

The average groom spends 150 hours going 'Yeah, sounds good.'

~Jay Leno~

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

A medley of extemporanea;

And love is a thing that can never go wrong;

And I am Marie of Romania.

~Dorothy Parker~

Women need a reason to have sex.

Men just need a place.

~Billy Crystal~

A woman without a man

is like a fish without a bicycle.

~Gloria Steinem~

'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.

Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

~George Carlin~

Timeless Beauty Tips (by Woman's Day) final part

Final part of the 3 separate posts. Already I have friend asking me, since when I post this kind of stuff. It's just me like to share anything which I think is worth sharing for everyone's benefit. This might be the only 3 posts relating to this anyway, unless I found more interesting ones...

Smooth Legs

• Improve circulation in your legs and lower the risk of unsightly veins by elevating your feet when resting.
• Wait until after your shower to shave.The steam softens hairs for smoother results.
• Don't use creams that contain heavy fragrance or alpha hydroxy acid on freshly shaven legs. They'll sting and cause a rash.
• When applying "liquid stockings" (or today's self-tanner), don't forget the back of your knees, which are often missed.
• Waxing your legs? Pull skin taut before applying the wax to make it easier to remove the strip in one clean motion. Remove leftover wax with a cotton ball dipped in baby oil.

Model-Like Hands

• Shape nails with an emery board, filing sides toward center, never straight across and rounding off edges.
• What works for your face works for your hands. Remove age spots with facial brightening cream.
• The fast way to remove nail polish: Hold cotton saturated with polish remover firmly on your nail for a few seconds to let it start working, then wipe nail clean.
• Apply polish starting at the pinky, working toward the thumb to avoid dragging your hand across wet nails.

Happy Feet

• To counteract dryness, massage feet with a lanolin-based lotion, kneading it deeply into your instep, then massage soles, heels, top surface and around nails.
• Before using a pumice stone or foot file to remove a callus, be sure to soak your foot in warm water for at least 5 minutes. Follow with a little foot cream.
• To prevent ingrown nails, trim toenails straight across, not down into corners.
• Relieve swollen feet by soaking them alternately in hot water (for 3 minutes), then cold water (for 1 minute), for a total of 15 minutes.
• Use fresh pineapple or kiwi skins, which contain bromelain (a meat tenderizer), to exfoliate heels. Rub the fleshy part over heels for 5 minutes, then rinse, dry and moisturize.

Timeless Beauty Tips (by Woman's Day) part 2

Continued from previous post...

Pretty Face

• Don't touch your face unnecessarily. Breakouts can be caused by your own fingers.
• Apply cream or cleanser by lightly pressing upward - never down. The delicate skin sags easily enough in time.
• For the best color match, test foundation and powder either on your face or neck (the inside of your wrist is too pale).
• Use foundation, not concealer (which is lighter than your skin color), to cover up redness of blemishes.
• Rouge should be well-blended far out on the cheekbone; circles of rouge don't look good on anyone.

Lovely Lips

• Get lips soft and smooth by using a damp cloth, warm washcloth at night to rub off the flaky dry bits; follow with a coat of lip balm.
• Ease the evening switch to a redder or darker lipstick by applying it over and blending it into your daytime color.
• To make lipstick last longer, allow it to set for a few minutes after applying, blot lips with tissue, and dust them with powder, then apply another coat.
• Cheeks feeling flushed? Pu on a bold color lipstick; a neutral share will only make red cheeks stand out.
• For lip liner that glides on, warm it up first by pinching it with your fingertips.

Glowing Skin

• The best time to apply lotion is right after a shower or bath, when skin is still damp.
• When drawing a bath, scatter bubbles or crystals directly under the faucet before turning on the water, but drop in perfume oil while the tub is filling.
• Beautiful skin starts from within. Include lots of vegetables, fruit and water in your diet.
• Overdo it with your perfume? dab rubbing alcohol with a cotton ball on your skin. The alcohol will cut the scent without altering it.
• Microwave lotion for 5 seconds to soothe dry winter skin.

Timeless Beauty Tips (by Woman's Day) part 1

Came across this from yahoo. Posted by Woman's Day. I will split this into 3 posts. I just want to share this because I think this is of use to some ladies out there.

Gorgeous Hair

• Camouflage roots by zigzagging your part rather than making it straight.
• Brush hair from roots to ends nightly. This distributes natural oils throughout the shaft and gives hair a healthy sheen.
• Be direct when telling your hairstylist what you want, and bring photos from magazine of the style you like.
• Doing hair color yourself? Don't make too drastic a change. Stay within one or two shades of your natural color.
• Comb wet hair like the pros: Hold a handful at a time, and work from center to ends, then scalp to center.

Beautiful Brows

• Soften skin before tweezing by dabbing with a cotton ball soaked in warm water or cream.
• Tweeze in the direction the hair grows.
• Don't change the place where your brows peak and never pencil the whole brow. Instead, only fill in holes.
• Use only the side of a sharpened brow pencil - not the pointed tip - so as not to draw a hard line.
• For unruly brows, apply hairspray to an old toothbrush, then brush brows upward and outward.

Bright Eyes

• Treat your eye area gently. This is the most delicate part of your face. Cleanse with care; never blot, never rub.
• Reduce puffy eyes by splashing with cold water or applying a cold compress (ice cubes in a washcloth): 15 seconds on, 15 seconds off.
• When you put on mascara, don't lower your chin - that's how mascara gets on your lid.
• Get eyeshadow to stay in place by priming lids with moisturizer and foundation.
• Always use your ring finger to apply moisturizer or concealer to the eye area. It puts the least amount of pressure on the skin.

Part 2 in the next post.

The Sarcasm Behind Marriage

Seriously, is marriage such a nightmare to some? Well, I don't really think so because it takes both hands to clap. So to make a marriage work, both parties must be able to contribute and tolerate each other's shortcomings, no matter what. However, I came across an interesting email from colleague which relates to the sarcasm behind marriage, which actually describes marriage in a more negative light. Enjoy...

Situation 1

Why marry?

You have two choices in life:

You can stay single and be miserable,

or get married and wish you were dead.

Situation 2

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,

"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

Situation 3

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: ”Husband Wanted”.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: ”You can have mine.”

Situation 4

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

Situation 5

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

Situation 6

A little boy asked his father, ”Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
Father replied, “I don't know son, I'm still paying.”

Situation 7

A young son asked,

”Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?”
Dad replied, “That happens in every country, son.”

Situation 8

Then there was a woman who said,
”I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late.”

Situation 9

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Situation 10

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say – talk in your sleep.

Situation 11

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

Situation 12

First guy says, “My wife's an angel!”
Second guy remarks, “You're lucky, mine's still alive.”

Situation 13

A Woman's Prayer...
“Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand a man; to love and to forgive him; and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength I'll just beat him to death!!”

Situation 14

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.

After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, “Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.”

The blind man replies, “If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.”

(A bit dirty but you understand what's the gist behind it)...