Control Freak?

I came across this article in today's Yahoo. I think I did qualify for a certain quality of control freak in the sense that I like to micro-manage my staff. But in life, except for changes I request for JS, I think I am still doing fine. Do personally tell me if you think otherwise.

<quote>

Want to know if you're a control freak? Here are eight signs for your self-diagnosing pleasure. 

• You believe that if someone would change one or two things about themselves, you'd be happier. So you try to "help them" change this behavior by pointing it out, usually over and over.
• You micromanage others to make them fit your (often unrealistic) expectations. You don't believe in imperfection and you don't think anyone else should either.
• You judge others' behavior as right or wrong and passive-aggressively withhold attention until they fall in line with your expectations. Sitting in silent judgment is a master form of control.
• You offer "constructive criticism" as a veiled attempt to advance your own agenda.
• You change who you are or what you believe so that someone will accept you. Instead of just being yourself, you attempt to incept others by managing their impression of you.
• You present worst-case scenarios in an attempt to influence someone away from certain behaviors and toward others. This is also called fear mongering.
• You have a hard time with ambiguity and being OK with not knowing something.
• You intervene on behalf of people by trying to explain or dismiss their behaviors to others 

You believe that if you can change another person's undesirable behavior, then you will be happier or more fulfilled. You make someone else responsible for how you feel. The thing is, you are only responsible for you. The road to better relationships always starts with you. Rather than attempt to control everyone else, work on becoming a better version of yourself. Here are a few ideas:

• Be vulnerable with people.
• Never compromise your self-respect by altering your core beliefs.
• Be realistic about your expectations of others.
• Quit the passive-aggressive nonsense--be direct.
• Accept that a large portion of life is laced with unknowns.
• Embrace confrontation--it really is sometimes the only thing you can do.
• Take responsibility for your own happiness.

If you work on your own improvement instead of trying to control others, healthier relationships at work, as well as everywhere else, will then come to you as a result.
<unquote>

My 2013 resolution

I never set a resolution because I know I won't be able to meet my goals. But, I felt like I am already 27 and it's time for me to get serious about achieving my goal and improve my determination. Let's start with small tasks first.

Making these 10 self-declared resolutions (don't ask why 10) in blog so that I can remind myself of it from time to time:

1. Reduce weight (max 57kg)

- even Mel and bro-in-law noticed that I gained weight

- need to shrink my bulging belly

- eat less rice

- reduce food portion - i will miss my food

- more exercise regime

2. Exercise regime (3 times a week)

- yoga (routine) - buy better yoga mat - worthwhile investment

- badminton (routine) - must play each week no matter what

- swimming - need to buy swimsuit first - accompany him to swim

- hiking - try to do it every week, can replace with swimming once i am good in it

- jogging - been some time haven't jog - last was during Penang Bridge Marathon (10km)

3. Wake up earlier

- wake up at 7am on weekdays

- minimise snoozing the alarm

- no time limit for weekend though

- lack sleep recently

4. Learn to cook

- start with soup - my favorite!

- vegetables - a must - also my favorite!

- meat and fish - pening!

- no culinary gene at all but should be still edible!

5. Cut short hair

- always feel like cutting when hair is long anyway

- must address my hair fall problem seriously

- getting balder on the side

- will try with the egg hair mask first

- if everything else fail, will seek haircare expert service

- that's how dire I feel

- won't look nice but dear didn't complain

6. Save money

- put aside certain amount of saving

- saving comes first before indulging leisurely

- need to reduce vacation trip - more self-control

- reduce buying on-line deal - think twice or split the purchase to month

7. Commit to partnership

- stop thinking ridiculously

- work all my way to make it work

- acceptance and tolerance is needed

- i will prove that i can do it if i set my mind on it

- think he should be the one though still very much early to say

8. Work hard and focus on personal development for work

- too comfortable and complacent

- boost my technical and practical skill

- read technical books

- foster good working relationship

- smile more

9. More reading

- fictions, non-fictions, magazines

- min 5 books per year

- doesn't sound much as i still need to read those few magazines subscribed

10. More time with family
- esp mom and the kids
- need to contribute - assist in household chore
- been long time didn't help to clean house - seldom go home
- need to be a good daughter, sister and auntie
- bring mom and the kids for walk, eat and movie sessions
- try to keep the weekend for them (alongside time with dear, work, and play)

Full duration: 1 year (hope can turn all this into habit)

Grace period for change: 3 months

Oh Pheo, please don't disappoint yourself...

There's Always...

There's always...

 

A little curiosity behind every

"just wondering"

 

A little emotion behind every

"I don't care"

 

A little knowledge behind every

"I don't know"

 

A little pain behind every

"I'm okay"

 

A little "I need you" behind every

"leave me alone"

 

And a lot of words behind the

silence...

 

So true!

 



12 Symptoms of Spiritual Awakening

#1

An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make things happen

 

#2

Frequent attacks of smiling

 

#3

Feelings of being connected with others and nature

 

#4

Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation

 

#5

A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experience

 

#6

An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment

 

#7

A loss of ability to worry

 

#8

A loss of interest in conflict

 

#9

A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others

 

#10

A loss of interest in judging others

 

#11

A loss of interest in judging self

 

#12

Gaining the ability to love without expecting anything



I Am Lucky

All of a sudden, P SMSed me. Was surprised. Been quite some time without contact with her. She is damn good and sharp. All her suspicion hit the jackpot. Didn't even tell her much and she managed to capture the gist from previous post.

She reminded me. I am lucky. Acceptance and tolerance is a must. I know that. I must remind myself of the touchy moments. Dear is good. I myself is not perfect. Now... as for those touchy and sweet moments...

'Operated' on the shrimp for our first Spanish pallea meal.

(really surprised and felt sweet)

Took my 'throw leaves' photo in Royal Botanical Garden, Melbourne.

(not many will entertain such request)

Stuffed my hand together with his in his pocket during Melbourne.

(sweet until I would have said Yes if he popped that 'question', thank God he didn't)

Consoled me when I stupidly lost my wallet in LCCT before Melbourne trip.

(touched as he helped to search the garbage bin for me)

Tried to meet the challenge but failed miserably.

(heart ached knowing that he fell off the tread mill and injured his shoulder)

Accompanied me hiking despite lack of sleep.

(I would have dropped dead if I were him, thank you)

Deboned chicken drumstick during Dave's lunch.

(made me feel that I can depend on him)

Did things seriously, e.g. the snow-skin mooncake.

(it's true, guys who cook are attractive)

Recycled stuff and sent it to Tzu-Chi.

(can be done in a more organized way though)

Fed me raw salmon.

(thank God he insisted as I was damn shy that time)



I must tell myself this:

No relationship is perfect because perfect is near impossible. I want trustworthy, honest, loyalty and love. I love imperfections. I want worth it.

Poor dear, he might not realize all this. I must have been thinking too much. Already said that my mood swings like nobody's business nowadays. Even worse off than your MAC, dear!

Still, health is of utmost importance. Pointless to cause anxiety and trouble to others if you don't work hard for it. Hope it's noted. And never take me for granted as once I lose faith, I will never turn back. I can go all in but I can also go all out. I must not take him for granted as well.

It takes both sides to make things work. Not just through words but through actions as well.

Talking to Myself

Sorry, I did it again. Something very minor but it triggered me into an 'emo' state.  

Can it be similar to PMS? Might not be since it's post-menstruation.  

What's the matter? Like a spinster's mood, swings like nobody's business lately.

I dropped few drop of tears. For no reason. Confused.
Wish for an evening walk by the park. The breeze.
Creating a non-existing misery out of too 'creative' mind.
Crazy lady's mind at work. Berserk. Haywire.

Cooling off period? Good idea but won't be just yet.  

I don't even know where does the problem lies in. Is it me? Most probably.

 Reduce contact? I doubt I can survive.

Redefine life? I need to. Yoga and swimming next year?

59.5kg this morning. Though it was only 58kg just now. Was it the weigher or me?

Sounding ridiculous. I am. Always been.

Salmon? Thanks dear. Do I really deserve you in the first place?

 I can't be expressing my thoughts all the time. I need to be quiet sometimes as well.

Everyone has life. Don't harp on an issue for too long. Move on.

No worry. I know I won't think about it after I wake up tomorrow.
Hopefully, fingers crossed.
Most likely I am just thinking too much.

Doggie

I never knew that I will like a dog until my sister brought back a puppy given by a friend. I mean, I have no issue with dog, but I won't go to the extent of hugging them or letting them lick me etc. Well, the idea of having to bathe, feed and pick up its poop doesn't sound too convenient to me. That's until Dou Dou came into our lives.

We still won't let it into the house too often but I feel warm each time I went home as Dou Dou will eagerly greet any of us by wagging its tail and circling endlessly around us. He even ignore us when we scolded him for turning too many rounds. Poor Dou Dou, he must have been very lonely since most of us went out working.

The best thing is, he doesn't bark necessarily, unlike the stupid new puppy next door. Even when my nephew hid it inside his bag, there wasn't a single 'whoof' from him. If I were him, I would be thinking 'what have I done to have deserve this?' Check out his photo, cute right?

 

The reason why I wrote this post was due to a forwarded email from Indika, regarding dog logic. I find it very much true, humorous and entertaining at the same time... Pets do make our lives whole. If only we are willing to spend some time with them~~~

The reason a dog has so many friends

is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.

~Anonymous~

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.

~Ben Williams~

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

~Josh Billings~

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

~Andy Rooney~

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.

~Franklin P. Jones~

If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise.

~unknown~

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you;

that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

~Mark Twain~

Dogs are not our whole life;

but they make our lives whole.

~Roger Caras~

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket

and then give him only two of them.

~Phil Pastoret~



Quotes

It has been awhile I haven't been sharing any quotes... These are among my favourite few...

There are two sides to a coin,

Always look towards the bright side when faced with a problem.

~Unknown~

If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you.

If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you.

~Anonymous~

Success is like a beautiful lover, it will leave us at any time.

But failure is like a mother, it will teach us some important lessons of life!

~Unknown~

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.

Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.

~Lao Tzu~

Silence and smile are 2 powerful tools.

Smile is the way to solve many problems and

Silence is the way to avoid many problems.

~Unknown~

The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all.

~Mulan~

The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.

~John Bingham~

There comes time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book.

~Anonymous~

One who fears failure limits his activities.

Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again.

~Henry Ford~

The greatest mistake in life is to continually be afraid you'll make one.

~Elbert Hubbard~

Failure teaches success.

~Japanese saying~

I think it's very healthy to spend time along.

You need to know how to be alone and not defined by another person.

~Oscar Wilde~

The most difficult time in any transition is when we think that success is in sight.

~Aung San Suu Kyi~

Press on. Obstacles are seldom the same size tomorrow as they are today.

~Robert H. Schuller~

Winners never quit and quitters never win.

~Unknown~

The secret to getting ahead is getting started.

~Unknown~

You must make a CHOICE to take a CHANCE or your life will never CHANGE.

~Unknown~

Success is not a matter of being the best and winning the race;

Success if a matter of handling the worst and finishing the race.

~Unknown~

I can accept failure, but I can't accept not trying.

~Michael Jordan~

A positive attitude may not solve every problem

but it makes solving any problem a more pleasant experience.

~Unknown~

It takes a deep commitment to change

and an even deeper commitment to grow.

~Ralph Ellison~

There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice,

but there must never be a time when we fail to protest.

~Elie Wiesel, writer, Nobel Laureate (b. 1928)~

The key is not to prioritise what's on your schedule,

but to schedule your priorities.

~Stephen Covey~

Clearer video

Thanks to Kong Kong's feedback, I finally took the pain to upload the video on YouTube so that my friends can get clearer view of the video. Do give some comments on how to improve the video further for my next 'spur of the moment' video. So here it is...

11 December 2012

It was his birthday celebration yesterday. I didn't fully fulfil his wish, i.e. to cook a meal for him. Well, mom said I was too slow and since she wanted to clear her fridge, the menu consisted of 8 dishes instead of the original 4 dishes I'd thought of. But I did cook the rice, soup, and jelly by myself. Though mom was the one adjusting the taste of soup.

No easy feat to cook a meal. Now I know how hard being a mom is. You need to consider whether everyone can accept the dish or not. Whether there is any health restriction or not. Whether people will like your cooking or not. If you have time, it's fun to cook, take your own sweet time. But if not, it is quite taxing and can be quite a rush.

After the meal, I showed him the video I'd made for him. Amateur standard, but I did it all by myself, researching on Google and You Tube. Glad that he liked it. Obviously, he was surprised as well. Didn't buy him anything though. Thought of shirt but decided against it. This morning, I suddenly got an idea on what to buy him. Hopefully he will like it.

He stayed until almost 10pm. After dinner, both of us sat at the dinner table and chatted for quite some time. I voiced out my thought naturally, better than last time. Was afraid if I will be giving him too much pressure, but I know I should voice it out. Or else, I might be resenting him quietly, I wouldn't want that. And I appreciate him coming to my place despite his birthday.

But he didn't have much choice since his place doesn't have a proper kitchen anyway. And it was our first anniversary as well, so I think to travel that distance on such a special day is acceptable. Colleagues said I pampered him too much by giving him such an easy task of being a bf. I had to admit there was some truth in it but I don't think I want to force myself to do something just because everyone thinks it should be done that way.

Felt closer to him but I know I need to still monitor from here onwards,  whether he takes heed of what I'd told him. Immediately after I told him some stuff which I can't really tolerate, he repeated it, in less than 5 min duration. Imagine how... how disappointed I was. I wouldn't want to purposely change him but I need to be able to accept or tolerate it. So if I can't accept or tolerate it, I think it's best to voice it out.

Enough said, love is a miracle. You might not know why you fall into him in the first place. Which is exactly what I had told him yesterday. I had uploaded the video I'd made for him but the video quality had deteriorated. Had to convert to more inferior quality to make the size smaller. Wouldn't want to upload to You Tube and embed it here, hence the video quality.

Sufficient that I can share out my first piece of video. Quality doesn't matter much, the content is...

Dog Logic

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.

-Anonymous-

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.

-Ben Williams-

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

-Josh Billings-

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

-Andy Rooney-

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.

-Franklin P.Jones-

If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise.

-Unknown-

If you pick up a starving dog and make it prosperous, he will not bite you;

that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

-Mark Twain-

Dogs are not our whole life;

but they make our lives whole.

-Roger Caras-

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket

and then give him only two of them.

-Phil Pastoret-

From The Association Of Retired People

This morning I feel pretty good and found that everything is going my direction. What makes it even better is reading two very motivating and funny email, one from Indika while another one from Dr Yeoh. They really make my day. Let's start with Dr Yeoh's email first...

It' called... From The Association Of Retired People...

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 fine younger women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A: Keep busy. If youre handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll have a place to live.

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?

A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid tha terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?

A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year old people to have problems with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?

A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?

A: "Gosh, I remember these!"

Got you smiling yet? I did! Definitely makes my day brighter :)

Blabbering Away

I am losing myself. This is so not what I want to be like. Will I ever be able to find back my drive at work? I need discipline, determination, and motivation to convince myself at work.

How on earth am I supposed to do one-to-one appraisal with my staff when I myself don't feel convinced that I am doing my job well? I must learn to learn from everyone. Can I rewind the time? Stupid question!

I need to sit down ALONE and review my life. I played a lot this year but I didn't get much in return except for the short-lived pleasure. Perhaps I do, I am just ignoring it.

Taking myself seriously again? Perhaps a tad too serious. I want to be humble and restart all over again, but I must put down my ego first. Now... that's a HUGE task!

Realised this since first year at work, and now I am already 4.5 years into work. Bad habits die hard.

Why need to force myself to be someone who I want to be but is not who I am? Why?

I am investing too much attention and care into relationship. It should be that way. But I feel so not me. Not when I don't feel any reciprocating affection of similar magnitude.

Love is blind. No fair share of affection given. I am fighting a losing battle to wish that way. Comparison should not be made. Is satisfaction the key?

Too much time left to have such wandering thoughts? Perhaps. I must redefine myself. Can't go on like this.

Can't continue advising people while I myself is not much better than them.

December Baby

His birthday wish:

for me to cook a meal.

(should not have asked what he wants in the first place!)

What I plan to cook up so far:

steamed fish

steamed tofu

vegetable

ABC soup

jelly for dessert

(all of which I haven't cook before)

Caution:

absence of talented culinary gene in my cell.

(absolutely honest here)

Potential backfire:

my birthday is after his, so I can still have my revenge... harder task!

(yes, we are december babies)

Sacrifice made:

less 1 day annual leave and possible depression due to failure.

(am I a good gf or what?)

Potential risk:

dishes might not turn out good but mom will be there to guide me, so... have faith!

(fingers crossed)

Potential win:

boost of confidence, enhanced culinary skill.

(as if I will cook again)

My confession:

Yes, simple dishes but BIG task for someone who haven't entered kitchen for very very long time, except to fry egg, sausage, nugget, and cook rice and instant noodles. Even my mom never tried my own cooking. Felt so not filial all of a sudden. With that, I vow to cook mom a meal too for her coming birthday in Jan 2013. Must be Chinese cooking to show my sincerity.

Outcome:
Didn't completely cook the whole meal set all by myself. Mom said I was too slow. Did the rice (slightly dry), jelly (not sweet enough) and the ABC soup (too watery). Sorry dear! But I have already tried my best. Forgive me?

Sitting Late

We always heard about people talking about working late. What about sitting late? I only got to know about it recently, after reading an email forwarded by Indika... 

<Mail sent by Narayan Murthy to all Infosys staff> It's half past 8 in the office but the lights are still on... PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing... And who's at work? Most of them ??? Take a closer look... All or most specimens are ?? Something male species of the human race... Look closer... again all or most of them are bachelors... And why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!!! Any guesses??? Let's ask one of them... Here's what he says... 'What's there 2 do after going home...Here we get to surf, AC, phone, food, coffee that is why I am working late...Importantly no bossssssss!!!!!!!!!!!' This is the scene in most research centers and software companies and other off-shore offices. Bachelors 'Passing-Time' during late hours in the office just bcoz they say they've nothing else to do... Now what r the consequences... 'Working' (for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture. With bosses more than eager to provide support to those 'working' late in the form of taxi vouchers, food vouchers and of course good feedback, (oh, he's a hard worker... goes home only to change..!!). They aren't helping things too... To hell with bosses who don't understand the difference between 'sitting' late and 'working' late!!! Very soon, the boss start expecting all employees to put in extra working hours. So, My dear Bachelors let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family... office is no longer a priority, family is... and That's when the problem starts... b'coz u start having commitments at home too. For your boss, the earlier 'hardworking' guy suddenly seems to become a 'early leaver' even if u leave an hour after regular time... after doing the same amount of work. People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labelled as work-shirkers... Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays... though) leave on time are labelled as 'not up to it'. All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on 'working' not realizing that they r spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they would have to regret at one point of time. So what's the moral of the story?? * Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!! * Never put in extra time ' unless really needed ' * Don't stay back unnecessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues. There are hundred other things to do in the evening.. Learn music... Learn a foreign language... Try a sport... TT, cricket......... Importantly,get a girl friend or boy friend, take him/her around town... * And for heaven's sake, net cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change. Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *'Life's calling, where are you??'* Please pass on this message to all those colleagues and please do it before leaving time, don't stay back till midnight to forward this!!! IT'S A TYPICAL INDIAN MENTALITY THAT WORKING FOR LONG HOURS MEANS VERY HARD WORKING & 100% COMMITMENT ETC. PEOPLE WHO REGULARLY SIT LATE IN THE OFFICE DON'T KNOW TO MANAGE THEIR TIME. SIMPLE !

I guess that's true for those who sit late. To them they don't mind spending the time in office doing their own personal stuff, but from the company point of view, they are wasting resources, such as electricity and most company would prefer staff to have their quality time doing real socialising, rather than doing virtual socialising via hp or internet. As for those really working late, I think sometimes you can't avoid it,especially during peak period...

Boss and I

Got this from Indika, a friend from my Bangkok cookie and cracker course. So good that everyone is still keeping in touch.

Scenario	(Me) I am…	(Boss) He is…
Taking a long time to finish	slow	thorough
Not doing it	lazy	busy
Doing something without being told	trying be smart	taking the initiative
Pleasing the boss	apple polishing	cooperating
Making a mistake	an idiot	only a human
Out of the office	wandering around	on business
On a day off sick	always sick	very ill
Applying for leave	going for an interview	being overworked

I should have laughed at this. Ever wonder why we always talk bad or think bad about our boss, no matter how good the boss is? I never did until I myself handle my staff. I realised that a boss needs to consider many aspects. They never want to be a mean boss, but circumstances force them to.

You need to be responsible and answerable to your staff's action. You need to consider budgetary constraint, human staffing issue, and technical issue while still maintaining your routine obligation at work. You need to ensure proper discipline at work and curb any problem from going out of control.

All this and you still need to focus on your own self-development. You need to consider your staff's self-development as well. When you yourself are demotivated, you still need to put up a tough front to motivate your staff. You dare not appear foolish since you do need to maintain your professionalism to garner some degree of respect still.

All these and lots more... how on earth do you expect a boss not to be mean at times? I myself is still finding my way in the dark, wanting to do some good to myself and to my staff, but honestly, we are all just humans. We fail at times. We lose respect at times.

I sometimes envy my staff because I yearned to be reprimanded and criticised for my shortfall. There wasn't much such thing around here. Sometimes when I met some resistance from my boss, I do feel like strangling him on the spot. Can't help, young blood boils up very fast.

But then, when I give myself some time to review the whole situation, I asked myself, if I put myself into my boss' shoe, how will I react? And that's when I realised that no one is at fault. We each value things differently so we interpret the situation differently. Factor in experience and technical knowledge, the gap is even bigger.

No right or wrong but there is a truth to the old adage... Great title comes with great responsibility. When you are the leader, you need to consider many factors in order to maintain the balance between productivity and expenditure. You need to plan for the overall improvement and fight the war with unforeseen circumstances.

Hence, I always believe that if your subordinates are better than  you in certain area, by all means, go ahead and develop them. Subordinates and boss should always complement each others' strength and weakness. So the next time before you criticise your boss out of anger, do sit back and rethink, whether it's really his fault or it's purely due to different outlook on work.

Finally, we always heard people say this about our boss:
When I do good, he never remembers. When I do wrong, he never forgets.

I have to admit that I myself am like that. I always tell my staff, if you don't receive compliment when you do good, that is because you are hired to do good. But once you made a mistake, people will remember forever because of the trouble you had caused and because you are not hired to do wrong. So never made too rash decision as mistakes will cost you your credibility score.

This is definitely old school way of thinking but there is truth. I am not going to pretend that I am modern in thinking. I do admit that I still work the old school way...

DISC Personality Test

I first heard about this test from WL. I like befriending him, and I think that WL, SK, BH and I are of the same type, like motivational and personal review stuff. The only difference we have is that they puts them into action and use. Go for the free test here. This is what I knew after trying the test.

The highest percentage is likely to be your most dominant personality factor, the second highest your next most dominant personality factor and so on. As such for you the DISC factors are ordered as: Dominance, Steadiness, Influence, Compliance.

DISC Personality Model

Dominance

- Describes the way you deal with problems, assert yourself and control situations.

Influence    

- Describes the way you deal with people, the way you communicate and relate to others.

Steadiness 

- Describes your temperament - patience, persistence, and thoughtfulness.

Compliance

- Describes how you approach and organize your activity, procedures and responsibilities.

DISC Personality Profile

15 DISC Patterns or Profiles:

Achiever, Coach, Evaluator, Counselor, Creative, Individualist, Inspirational, Investigator, Objective Thinker, Perfectionist, Persuader, Practitioner, Enthusiast, Results-Oriented or Specialist.

Here are descriptions given for people who score comparatively high and comparatively low on each of the four DISC dimensions.

********************************************************************************************************

High Dominance:

They are usually direct and positive with people, enjoying being the centre of attraction and may take it for granted that people will think highly of them. They may have a tendency to be rather critical of others. Consequently, other people may tend to see them as being rather domineering and overpowering.-enjoy competition and challenges.

-are goal orientated and want to be recognised for their efforts.

-aim high, want authority and are generally resourceful and adaptable.

-are usually self-sufficient and individualistic.

-may lose interest in projects once the challenge has gone and they tend to be impatient and dissatisfied with minor detail.

Low Dominance:
They are generally well liked because of their mild and gentle nature. Other people will tend to see them as being patient, calm, thoughtful and a good listener.

-tend to want peace and harmony.

-prefer to let others initiate action and resolve problems.

-are quiet and indirect in their approach to most situations.

-are usually cautious and calculate risks carefully before acting.

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High Influence:

Sometimes their concern for people and people's feelings may make them reluctant to disturb a favourable situation or relationship.

-are strongly interested in meeting and being with people.

-are generally optimistic, outgoing, and socially skilled.

-are quick at establishing relationships.

Low Influence:
They may well have learned and developed good social skills but they only bring these into play when logic dictates such tactics.

-are usually socially passive.

-quite frequently have an affinity for things, machinery and equipment.

-are generally comfortable working alone.

-frequently have a tendency to be analytical and once they have sorted the facts out they communicate them in a straightforward direct way.

-tend to take little at face value.

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High Steadiness:

Generally they have the ability to deal with the task in hand and to do routine work with patience and care.

 

-are usually patient, calm and controlled.

-have a high willingness to help others particularly those they consider as friends.

Low Steadiness:
They enjoy stretching themselves intellectually and physically.

-tend to enjoy change and variety in their work and non-work life.

-are expansive by nature and tend not to like routine and repetitive work/activities.

 

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High Compliance:

They prefer sticking to methods that have proved successful in the past. They have a high acceptance of rules and regulations.

-are usually peaceful and adaptable.

-tend not to be aggressive.

-tend to be cautious rather than impulsive.

-avoid risk-taking.

-act in a tactful, diplomatic way and strive for a stable, ordered life.

-are comfortable following procedures in both their personal and business life.

Low Compliance:

Free in thought, word and deed, they long for freedom and go to great lengths to achieve it.

They feel that repetitive detail and routine work is best "delegated" or avoided.

 

-are independent and uninhibited.

-resent rules and restrictions.

-prefer to be measured by results and are always willing to try the untried.

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Well, I am of the HIGH DOMINANCE type.  What's yours? Here is mine:

"You are responsive to challenges in a practical, realistic and enthusiastic manner. You are a fact orientated person capable of providing help based on solid information. You are assertive, self-sufficient and individualistic. People are likely to perceive you as being rational and creative at the same time."

 

Private Retirement Scheme (PRS)

Attended a talk on Private Investment Scheme (PRS) upon invitation from SK. It was quite interesting as I suddenly realised that 'Hey, retirement is no joke!'. As the name suggests, PRS is similar to EPF (Employee Provident Fund) except that PRS is voluntary while EPF is mandatory. But then for private sector employees, I think it's good to complement your EPF with this PRS.

PRS has similar fund allocation as EPF, i.e. the 70% and 30% allocation into Account 1 and Account 2. However, you can't withdraw any fund from PRS until you reach retirement age. Any earlier withdrawal is subject to 8% penalty. Good thing is that, since it's voluntary, you don't have to commit monthly, and the minimum required investment is only RM100 monthly (by Hwang). Some other fund house will require a minimum of RM1000 though. But then, since you already decide to build up on your retirement fund, might as well contribute regularly.

The downside is that, you will need to pray that the fund house which manages your PRS is competent enough as there is no guaranteed % of return. EPF on the other hand, has a guaranteed minimum return of 2.5% (still very low, even when compared with EPF, but then it's still better than nothing). But if you switch between funds from the same provider, there won't be any switching fee charged.

There are also 3 categories of investment fund for different appetite investors, i.e. growth, moderate and conservative. Do Google more on PRS if you are curious. You can also get some info on it from here. I am no expert so I apologise if there is any mistake in my clarifications above. To be safe, contact your financial adviser friends to find out and research it on line.

I wish to share what I knew from the sharing, to the best I could remember, of course. How many people dream of retiring early? I think if given the option, most of us would like to do it. But then, retirement means reduced income or no incoming income at all. So it is advisable to plan early to build up your retirement fund. Minus off those people who are good in investment etc, who won't need to worry about their retirement of course. We are talking about the majority of the crowd here.

When you retire, you will need these 8 elements to sustain your life, though some of it can still be omitted:

1) Food

That's the most basic necessity of life, can't be omitted. If you want to live, you got to eat, just a matter of what you eat. If you eat healthily, then you will live longer. Otherwise, unthinkable!

2) Festive Spending

As you get older, you tend to cling to faith more religiously. Especially for Chinese community when there are so just so many festivals, e.g. CNY, Mooncake, Dumpling, Winter Solstice, etc. Spending in this sector can be reduced but then, the elderly always get satisfaction from here since this is the time where everyone gathers and stay united.

3) Medical care

As your engine gets older, maintenance gets higher. No matter how fit you are, some aspects of your health will deteriorate somehow. If you have already bought sufficient medical insurance coverage, then it's fine, but hey, with the current inflation rate and the booming health tourism (especially in Penang), who knows how much will a simple blood check costs in the future?

4) Supplement

Required in order to complement the poorer nutrient absorption in the elderly and also to complement the basic function for our body. Better allocate some funds into this. Supplements nowadays are not cheap but then, so does medical bills! Still much better to invest in prevention rather than cure.

5) Social networking

You spend more time with friends or family as there wasn't much for you to do. Activities like mahjong, evening walk, tea session with friends, hiking, jogging etc somehow still needs some investment, be it on food or drinks or sports attire, equipments or shoes. Also can be limited.

6) Transport

The only transport which is free is your two pair of legs, but how much distance can you cover to get you from one destination to another? This can be minimised if you limit your travelling though.

7) Accommodation

Household expenses, appliances, maintenance, utilities, etc. is no cheap expenses, no joke. This is beyond control since you won't know which part of the house or appliance will fail you indefinitely.

8) Retreat

Once in a while, you still need to have relaxing trip or vacation, sort of treating yourself better. This can still be omitted though. I mean, if you mean it, just an evening stroll by the park can do wonder.

There are 5 accelerators (DOs) to building your retirement fund:

1) Buy house ASAP

Property prices almost doubles up for every 10 years period. And there was no telling when the bubble burst will happen. Even if it happens, property prices will not go too low anyhow. Property is probably the highest investment one makes in life. I dread thinking how to buy a house, and honestly it never came across my mind to save for one, not yet. I don't like being a slave to house.

2) Save ASAP

The sooner you save, the more returns you will get, the sooner you get to build up your desired retirement fund. Also don't forget to factor in the inflation rate, please. I will say a 5% inflation rate factor seems safe for the moment. And the sooner you save, the lesser monthly saving you need to commit to as you age. Especially when it is at that particular age where your commitments such as marriage, kids, households get higher.

3) Insurance to protect your retirement fund

Yup, if anything happens to you before retirement, your retirement fund building will be affected, especially if you can't contribute any income anymore. So buying an insurance does provide some assurance that your retirement fund plan is still intact. Hence, it pays to maintain your health well as you determine your own capability to generate revenue. 

4) Invest with 6-8% average annual return in the long run

You have to if the inflation rate is 5%. Fixed deposit is no longer an attractive option to build up your wealth since the interest rate is just around 3%. You are losing 2% if you do that.

5) Prepare 6 months emergency fund (of monthly commitment)

In case you lose your mean of income, either due to health or retrenchment or pure bad luck. Whatever happens, your commitment still stays. Any can happen, even to a healthy and happy family. One string of bad luck and there you goes. So saving for rainy days and preparing umbrella beforehand is definitely a wise move. I have yet to build up on that.

And there are 5 stops (DON'Ts) to building your retirement fund:

1) Clear debts (credit card, hire purchase, personal loan, mortgage)

Don't spend well ahead of your income. Financial discipline is very important. Those with weak determination should never ever use credit card. Any fixed liability should be settled first each month before treating yourself better with some form of entertainment.

2) Don't invest just because of high return

Need to check out whether the investment is being recognised by the Securities Commission, stable over long term or short term and whether it meets your investment appetite or not. Don't follow the crowd blindly without understanding your investment portfolio. A good example will be the Geneva gold investment scheme.

3) Stop wasting tax relief

Claim back any tax rebate or relief because it's your hard-earned money. If there is a way where you can claim tax relief and still build on your retirement fund, why not? Mind you, the average lifespan of a Malaysian has increased, so anything which can possibly build up the retirement fund, by all means, do it. Though I don't really have much idea on how to do that just yet. I was told that this PRS is subject to maximum RM3000 tax rebate.

4) Don't invest in investment plan that doesn't meet your retirement goal

If you have a big appetite for high return and is willing to take the risk, do it. But make sure it's calculated risk, something which you can take if things don't turn out the way you want it to be. Then probably equity and stocks serves you better. But you are a conventional type investor, then you might as well invest in those fund with guaranteed returns.

5) Don't spend beyond budget

Always live within your means. Using credit card to support your extravagant living just to look and feel good is a stupid act as you will suffer towards the end. Don't blindly go after the latest gadget or fashion, etc just for the sake to appear trendy. Spending ahead of your expected income is quite risky as well. There are so many youths declared bankrupt because of this. Expecting bonus to cover the advanced expenses, signing up for instalment payments etc, this are all a part of debt. I'd rather save up for the items I want and buy it at one go. Not that I spend much on all this anyway.

So do you think you are ready to build up your retirement fund now? If no, better do some planning. You don't have to start immediately, but at least, you must plan out when and how you want to do it because even researching takes quite some time, if you intend to do it seriously. I myself is still scratching my head over it.