I am losing myself. This is so not what I want to be like. Will I ever be able to find back my drive at work? I need discipline, determination, and motivation to convince myself at work.
How on earth am I supposed to do one-to-one appraisal with my staff when I myself don't feel convinced that I am doing my job well? I must learn to learn from everyone. Can I rewind the time? Stupid question!
I need to sit down ALONE and review my life. I played a lot this year but I didn't get much in return except for the short-lived pleasure. Perhaps I do, I am just ignoring it.
Taking myself seriously again? Perhaps a tad too serious. I want to be humble and restart all over again, but I must put down my ego first. Now... that's a HUGE task!
Realised this since first year at work, and now I am already 4.5 years into work. Bad habits die hard.
Why need to force myself to be someone who I want to be but is not who I am? Why?
I am investing too much attention and care into relationship. It should be that way. But I feel so not me. Not when I don't feel any reciprocating affection of similar magnitude.
Love is blind. No fair share of affection given. I am fighting a losing battle to wish that way. Comparison should not be made. Is satisfaction the key?
Too much time left to have such wandering thoughts? Perhaps. I must redefine myself. Can't go on like this.
Can't continue advising people while I myself is not much better than them.
2 comments:
so true! love is BLIND!! you will feel you lost yourself when youre so into your relationship.. This is what happening to me too :(
sometimes i find it a distraction, but sometimes it's fun
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