Void

U ever heard about black hole? That's what I am feeling right now. Big void but I am not sure why. Feeling down but can't really explain. I think I am playing self-blame game now. Sigh! I hate this feeling. I don't even have the mood to post on my Bangkok experience.

One thing I really can't understand is, why can't I really smile in office? Why must I turn very serious at work? Can't help it. Seemed like double personality ya, serious at work and playful. Oh, I also don't want to face people with very serious face but it's on auto mode. No matter how hard I tried, in the end it still goes back to square one. Sigh!

I just miss Bangkok this moment. I miss the lotus pond of my hotel lobby. I miss the 'close to nature' feel. I feel like just sitting quietly doing nothing, perhaps gazing at the starry night while getting some mosquito bites on and off (well.... perhaps not the mosquito bites).

flowers in the hotel lobby toilet

the lotus pond in my hotel lobby

at benjasiri park a.k.a queen's park

we have these in the hotel's lotus pond too, this was taken in front of a bank

U will know what I mean when u see these pictures below. I wanna become like this when I return to office. Why can't I? Sigh! Heavy responsibility? Nah, all this while I have been handling the same responsibility and obligation. No one to push me around? Nah, I can still push myself. I think I am blaming myself.

acting like a gangster, squatting by such a beautiful pot of flowers, ironic isn't it?

ya, this is what i need. a loving smile!

'fragile like a tofu' baby

Now not even the kids at my home can cheer my up currently. Sigh! I need to regain my positive energy fast!

p/s: I think to write a post without photo is so so much faster and hassle-free!