The World In The Cow Sense

This is an interesting light reading. It is highlighting the real situation out there for each country despite its light-hearted description. You do need some knowledge of what's happening out there in other countries and also perhaps slight appreciation for the Hokkien dialect in order to understand all this. And oh, history too...

The world explained in simple COW SENSE...

SOCIALISM

 - You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM

 - You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM

 - The state takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM

 - You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

 - You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM

 - You have 2 cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk rights of the 6 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns 8 cows, with an option on 1 more.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

 - You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of 4 cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

- You have 2 cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

- You have 2 cows but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION

- You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

- You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim employment and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

- You have 2 cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

- You have 2 cows. Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

- Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows but at least you now have Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

- You have 2 cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

- You have 2 cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION

- You have 2 cows borrowed from French and German banks. You eat both. The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF. The IMF loans you two cows. You eat both of them too. The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows / milk. You are out getting a haircut.

MALAYSIAN CORPORATION

- You have 2 cows. They both live in condos in Bangsar.

SINGAPORE

- Cow- peh cow-bu.