#56 - self-discovery

12.08.2010

Previously I mentioned about part-time job. But after two long bouts of illness, I started to think and think. I think a lot and I think too much. That one I had to agree. But thinking keeps ur mind active. Suddenly all that I want is just a simple life. Being happy, being contented, being surrounded by ppl I like, spend more time with family (recently too many outings, till pocket also dry up faster) and the list goes on.

I enjoy meeting ppl but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I enjoy talking. Sometimes u just felt comfortable meeting a person but at the same time won’t feel awkward by just being silent. I actually prefer to listen to ppl talking rather than me doing the talking, cos I can learn from the conversation. I am ignorant when it comes to knowledge.

So an opportunity to listen to ppl imparting some knowledge is definitely a treasure for me. But most of the time, I did the talking when sensing that things gotta be warmed up slightly, to break the ice, I supposed. So, at times I used my 38 way to break the ice. I don’t know how to break it nicely ma… But yes, it does feel nice when u can just sit down n be quiet for a change.

The other day, went to Chew and Tan Jetty with JS and double YL. I really like it there, sitting there looking at the water and feeling the soothing breeze at the same time. If I were alone there, I might sit there for quite some time before wanting to leave. Another day, went to WOU with JS also. The view there was superb and the seaview gave me a calm and relaxing feeling.

Don’t know why, perhaps surrounded by urban life too much. Everyday wake up, must brace through the traffic jams to work. Back home also jammed. That is why I made it a point to try to go to Tokun for a hike once a week at least. Closer to nature! Ya, that’s the phrase, closer to nature.

I missed the time when I was staying at estate at grandpa’s home. Woke up early in the morning, barely able to bathe cos the water was extremely cold, capable of sending shivers down the spine. Sure will freeze to death. But after bathed, u would be very refreshed and had more energy to do ur daily chores. Simple life yet happy! Not to say not happy now, but those time when u were still naive seemed so precious all of a sudden. Nevertheless, life gotta move on. Without the obstacles in life, we can hardly grow up.

Just like today, we had audit. From there, I got to know that we are still lacking in certain aspects. Like what the auditor said, we are still new, which is very true. I like audit and I had nv been through such a thorough audit before! I learnt from each audit and always try to ask the auditors for some ideas for improvement as they see more than us.

Today’s auditor seemed cool at first glance but is actually dedicated to her work and emphasize on improvement all the time! Which reminded me of the advices offered by my good seniors, JCGS and CWK back in Klang. I am happy with the way I am now, but perhaps need to put in more effort to beef up my technical knowledge.

I felt blessed to have a family, to have colleagues, to have friends, to have a house to stay in, to have a car to drive, to have a motorbike to ride, to have good fitness level to go for badminton and hiking. What else would I want? Previously I would want this and that, but now I am contented with these few. Some might say I don’t think big, but what matters is what I am feeling now. The serenity that comes with it is priceless. I am at peace with my mind currently.

The other day, a friend asked me about romance. What criteria am I looking for? The only thing that popped up into my mind: taller and sporty. Simple enough? Cos I nv gave it a thought before. But now as peers around had the wedding bells ringing or got hooked up with someone special, I would be bluffing if I say I nv thought about it.

Perhaps my crave for independence and singlehood is stronger. Not having to report to anyone and free to go anywhere and do what u want and be natural to urself… I wondered before what my life will be when the status change to N/A. But I shrugged at the thought, better don’t think too much.

Just the other day, my friend commented on my status in FB. I set it to ‘complicated’ since the 1st day I had the account. But don’t know why suddenly everyone is concentrating on it all of a sudden. Why I put complicated? Simple… Cos when I first graduated, I told myself I would concentrate on my job for 2 yrs and won’t think about romance at all. And I always had Turtle members to remind me about the 2 yrs promise.

Sometimes really regretted informing them but we always had a good laugh out of it… Now that the 2 years had passed, again they love to remind me from time to time. But I guess I gotta change my mindset and start to open up my market. Not on the lookout yet, but things might be better, who knows?

Seriously, the audit today had me thinking. Where am I standing after 2 years of working? Made me review myself. Did I do my best? How to improve my system? How to guide my subordinates to a higher level so that we can improve together? How to lead the change? Not easy feat but jz gotta try la. But for the moment, I can say that I am contented with my life currently. Thank God for the blessed life. Now I just gotta work a bit harder to be more diligent in whatever task that may come my way…

Comment:

> 12.08.2010 (leeping)

support u =)