My friends noticed that I changed in terms of appearance and grooming. And the first thing which came into their mind is “U got bf already is it?” It is just so tiring to fend off these allegations. Sigh… Why can’t I change? I admit I am always very left behind and slow to change my way of grooming. But who cares? To me, as long as I am comfortable with it, why not? I rather follow my own pace. So what if now only I tried contact lenses, rebonding and wearing sleeves when outing with them?
At this age, everyone starts to question u. “Got bf already?” “No?” “Want me to recommend?” u may think “Why are they so kepo ah?” But when I was the one being the ke poh ci, I realized that it was done out of good intention. Slowly I got used to these questions and would sometimes answer differently: “Got, already, show u next time.” “No lah, concentrate on career first.” “No lah, I wanna play first.” “No wo, anyone to introduce?” No harm having some fun once in awhile ma.
I am tomboyish and don’t really groom. But things can change and I still need to maintain good impression, right? Appearing sloppy when bumped into my own subordinate, urgh…. Once is more than enough. I couldn’t stand that thought.
To those out there wondering, I admit I am attracted to someone currently but that’s just it. I get attracted easily but whether I want to give it a try, that’s another different story altogether. Don’t worry, if I got a bf, I will tell. If I decide to keep it a secret, then there must be a reason behind it. As for now, I am clean!
A friend (let’s call him KK) shared that he was having a crush or a fad with his colleague who happened to be his dancing partner. I was amused and really hoped that he will take some actions as life is indeed short. On the other hand, things like this shouldn’t be rushed. If it’s urs then it’s urs.
OWI asked me the other day...
OWI: If u like someone, will u tell him? Either hint him or tell him directly?
Me : If I confirm that’s the guy, I think I will hint him. Whether he takes action or not, it depends then. Unless if I am very sure that it’s a two-way thingy, then it might be different. I might tell him directly though I think the chances that I will do that is very slim. I still have my ego u know.
I want to share my thoughts on this:
· I vowed to be single and never lay a single thought on romance, unconditionally for 2 years in order to focus on my career.
· I vowed to get married before 30 years old (don’t ask me where I get all these figures).
· Being able to find someone who shares the same interest as u is a blessing as u can spend quality time with each other while pursuing the same interest. Add one more ‘kaki’ to share the views some more!
· However, if u didn’t manage to find one, don’t fret. Think on the bright side. Yes, u will need to arrange a time to meet up but u will actually gain some new input if u are interested enough in ur partner’s interest. But if u are not interested, then u might get bored fast esp if u two only meet up whenever it comes to common interest, such as movie or meals. Boring!!! But with some efforts taken, u can still iron this out. Of course it depends on who ur partner is as well, sometimes u just don’t mind all this.
· Wonder can work its way into ur life. If u open ur mind to it, it will slowly happen. If u close ur mind to it, then surely no chance la. Giving others a chance is like giving urself a chance too. Don’t jump into conclusion and reject someone too fast. Meet more friends. Things will be way easier if u think of them merely as friends rather than being ur potential partner. If u have the chemistry or the so-called spark, let nature takes its own course then!
· Apply “Law of Attraction”. I have seen examples where it worked. E.g. by frequently mentioning A in front of B regularly, u implant A in B’s mind indirectly. If the timing is right, love blossoms. If not, what to do? Just be friends la. We did that with my high school friends and it works. Too bad in the end it had to end due to long distance. They were really a lovely couple back during high school though.
I would also like to share my thoughts on what do guys usually consider before asking the someone special to be their partner:
· Fear of rejection – unless they get a clear hint, they won’t proceed further. Hence, if u gave them false hope, things might turn ugly later on as they would have thought that it’s a positive from u. When not handled properly, it will be friendship turned sour. It’s a very thin line and quite treacherous to tread on.
· Low self-confidence – ladies now are more realistic (I wouldn’t use the word materialistic, realistic is more like it, as in, besides romance, u need to look into stability and security when being together as well). Guys might feel that if they can’t afford some basic luxury, it’s not the time for them to commit just yet.
· Career-driven – not a surprise, even I myself wanna focus on my career, what’s more with guys who usually will end up as the main breadwinner for the family? By the time they achieve successful career though, their prime time for romance is well over. That’s why there are so many matchmaking agencies nowadays. Opportunity usually only knocks once. Count urself lucky if it’s twice.
Call me ‘hiao’ or what to post this but I don’t care. To me, this is a common topic people our age usually talk about. Abo then, why do u think I will post this up?
At different age, u will have different priorities to consider. Previously I thought I was being ready but later realized that it was not the case at all. But no longer “closed door” policy lah. When I sat down to review my 2010, I seriously feel that I play too much and neglected my career advancement. My boss JCGS used to tell me that “When you play, you play hard. When you work, you should also work hard!” I should work harder now.
I always like this story between a teacher and a student:
“T: Go out to the paddy field. U can only move forward and never turn back until u got ur paddy. Pick only the paddy which u think is the largest and fattest (is there such a word as fattest, btw?)
>The student returned empty-handed. He saw many large paddy but didn’t pick them as he thought there will be larger ones upfront, just to notice that the larger ones were the one which he didn’t pick earlier on.
T: This time, go to the corn field and do the same as I told u earlier.
>This time the student came back with a corn. It’s not the largest in the entire corn field though. It was the largest the student thought he could get.”
Now see, the paddy represents ur dating partner. The corn represents ur spouse. When u choose paddy, u always yearn to get the best but that’s not always possible. Hence, with the experience gained from choosing the paddy, u settle for the corn which u think suit u the best. See? It’s about give and take really.
A friend once shared with me: “Better to find someone who loves u more than u love him”. I agree but how do u measure this kind of thing? There is no such thing as a love meter. In the end, it’s always about give and take. Both sides must give and take. Doesn’t matter who gives more or who takes more. But never ever just take, without give. Do some justice to ur partner, please!
Final words from me,
Love is important but it is not everything in ur life. If u have one, ur life will be sweeter. But without it, life still goes on and u can still be happy and go around minding ur own business.
So friends, please stop guessing whether I have a bf or not. I am clean and will definitely tell u if I have OK? Having a bf is a happy thing and u know that I always like to share my joy with others. So to CPS, KYL and CJB, please stop speculating. A change in appearance is more for myself rather than for anyone else. It feels good to change once in awhile though it might be drastic. Perhaps u gals are not used to it. Give urself some time, u will see that there will be more changes to come.
Comment:
> 16.01.2011 (leeping)
i like the paddy and corn story heheeager to see u after the change…! change for urself !
> 18.01.2011 (turtlerocks)
make sure u meet me during cny then. don’t put too high hope though 
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