Disturbing Thoughts

Am I starting to feel bored with current life? Do I need to change my environment? Like what? Change job? Change lifestyle? Change mindset? Does this has something to do with me not exercising for so long? I don't know! So many questions and yet no answers.

I got this sudden urge to do something, something different, just for the sake of doing it. Something different from what the normal rational me would do. Something like resigning and not doing anything, living a care-free life, forgetting the commitments. Something like going to NZ for working holiday or asking JS to apply for relocation and follow him to US.

Anything done on impulse. But this is just the inner me talking. The rational me will never allow this. I would know better that if I really do that, I might be regretting though no one knows for sure. Some friends asked if it's related to work. I can't answer for sure. I do hope it's only hormonal imbalance or things like that, something which will recover soon.

Hate feeling this way. Perhaps resigning and helping mom at shop or staying at home to help babysit my three nephew and nieces can be interesting, who knows? Overseeing the kids and tracking their day-to-day progress can be very interesting and satisfying. Though I might get tensed up and might even feel like pulling my hair, it should be worth the satisfaction you get when they learnt something new or when I am their favourite aunt.

See? I am crapping like it's no body's business over here. Talked to several friends, to JS etc. Felt much better but I know what will make me feel better. Finding back my aim in life. I am just too rigid in a way that without a goal or plan, I don't feel comfortable. Perhaps the strings of blurriness buried my confidence, perhaps this, perhaps that...

Don't know lah, lazy to think also. Just fast fast recover lah, no need to say or think much on anything else.