Thanks for your comment my friend

I had posted this before in mid-August and to my surprise, a good friend of mine replied. Genuine comments and advices intertwined with some lame jokes of course. But I do appreciate his comments (in italic blue) as it does reminds me not to think or expect too much, thanks T! Read the original post here.

P.A.S.S.I.O.N.
(Preserver Awake Small Simple Obligation Neurosis)

An easy 7 letters word.
(Not simple at all)

Something I am searching for right now.

Be it...

In work...

In relationship...

In life...

Recently I seem to ponder a lot,

Searching for answers which I can't find,
(There are no perfect answer to what you want to find, is what you create in life that counts)

Probably I didn't search seriously,

Perhaps I've reached the junction,
(Junction with choices in life... not the End of the road right?)

Junction where I've felt stagnant,

Finding my way,

To regain whatever self-drive purpose,

Or kick in life,

Which I am lacking now.

(Change the way you live your life, the clothing, the food, the daily routine... try new things... Change of JoB the last choice if required)

Is this called soul searching?
(No, this is called daily routine)

A search for something,

Where I have a sense of belonging?
(You belong to this life & the future, definitely not the past)

How will I know if I won't feel the same again,
(You won't... as you will not know that you have changed as what you experienced during your decision making after Form 3, Science or Art class... Ha ha)

After few more years down the road?

Is this normal?
(Very normal)

Having several junctures in life,
(Very norm also)

Where you have to do some soul searching...
(Now in 7th Lunar Month can find everywhere... No need to search far, a few circling you right now)

I don't call this emo anymore,
(No, this is insane, worrying over the same thing again & again, but expecting different result)

There was this something inside me,

Which triggers all these.

Just like when I was contemplating a job transfer,
(Wanna Change... Change lah... What to lose... if you fully consider the benefits, salary must be more than current between range 15 to 40%, future room for development, location near or far, fuel & toll to cover (Rent), company background & self satisfaction & No regrets... Any new environment will have new things to learn in life... ha ha)

Where my rational mind says go,

While my heart sends me a signal to reconsider,
(Tabulate out the Pros & Cons... If Pro is 70% more than Cons then go ahead... If the other way round then forget about it...)

Where in the end I did listen to my heart,
(Sometimes don't listen to Heart 100%, follow the facts, heart only gives you some hints)

Can it be that my heart is trying to tell me something again?

I don't believe that I felt stagnant already,

It must be that I lack something,

Perhaps a drive or something,

Maybe I am searching if this is the life I want,
(You create your life while living in it...)

Something which I myself can't answer.
Being indecisive is torturing and something which I can't help.
(Facts of life)

I know that if I don't settle this,

It will surely crop up again sooner or later.

Do I need a change?

Do I have the courage?

I just need an enlightened moment,

Once I get the answer,

I know my path will be clear,
(No one will know what he/she wants in life if there is a goal to achieve in life... What is your goal??? You are asking the wrong question...)

No more vagueness.

Of course it can still change.
(To be better or worse... It is still up to your mind to set)

A plan is after all still a plan.

Soul searching still...
(Hantu Gangster)

FYI, Hantu Gangster is a another local movie directed by Namewee, our controversial local artist.