Big decision to make. The excitement is unbearable but at the same time, fear of uncertainty as well. If I grab this chance, I have to sacrifice a lot. And why break this news to me on a Friday? How am I supposed to spend my weekends in peace? Not so much peace anyway, since this week it’s my turn to work on Sat. My heart says go, but things aren’t that easy.
There are many things which I have to let go. LET GO….. Not an easy thing to do, too much at stake. Taking uncalculated risk, I don’t know how well can I fare in this daunting task. What’s worse will be that… I always have high expectation on myself. If I don’t do well, my self-esteem will come plummeting down and I will put on too much pressure on myself. In the end, I will only suffocate myself.
It’s true to say that no pain no gain. But… it’s not easy for me to successfully create my own network of friends here (esp. for sports), and I don’t think I will be able to find another one, of which I am so comfortable with anymore! I am really comfortable here. Starting all over again, with new environment…sounds daunting enough for me. The challenges are huge, but the exposures are great too. But the question still comes back to me, do I want it? Yes, I want! Am I willing to LET GO? Not really… Sigh! I hate making choices.
The question now comes back to me. What do I want? Career advancement? Or balanced life? Life is never perfect, u know. U can never have career advancement without sacrificing something. Do I want to be purely workaholic? At my age, workaholic can also translates to being a spinster later. I wouldn’t really want that. I am foreseeing that I have to let go of:
- JS (I don’t think LDR will work, esp if it’s not even starting yet)
- My beloved family (definitely will go back lesser since it’s not near and not cheap)
- My sports (it’s quite easy to hike, jog and play badminton in Penang here and I had just found my kaki here)
- Colleagues (we developed quite a comfortable niche within the Lab)
Life is so unfair. Good chances always come with a price, can never let me choose easily. Now I am gonna have sleepless nights 
Comment:
> 20.05.2011 (CMY)
ask urself back…”will u regret in the future?”if the answer is yes,go for it….good chance won’t always come knocking on ur door…never be afraid to leave ur comfort zone….u never know what lies ahead…never be afraid to try…….> 21.05.2011 (leeping)
i definitely agree with CMY. Just follow your heart. Guess we have to talk bout it properly on Sunday tokun. Anyway, will support ur decision always 
go to sleep..haha
go to sleep..haha
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