#59 - Mixed feelings

27.08.2010

I can’t describe my feelings currently. At first, it seemed like Aug is a good month with several good news coming together. I passed my audit and I have 2 of my friends having their ROM in Sept. In fact, one of the ROM really caught me by surprise. Had just came back from steamboat to celebrate CCH b’day in fact.

We had fun teasing each other and updating each other. Looking back at the photos really brought back some really fond memories to us. Previously even joined 30 hours famine camp, where I got to know more friends and learnt about lessons in life from there. How vital it is to be grateful and helpful.

Suddenly a string of bad news came. Not for me, but for my friends. Accidents, failed exam, self crisis and shocking news which I can’t reveal. I felt disheartened when I heard some of them as it reminded me that when we fretted about small small things, there are ppl out there who are struggling with bigger issues. When we were whining and lazing around, there are ppl out there who had to suffer in silence though others thought they are doing well. I was in that position before and understood how terrible it felt.

Though I couldn’t offer much help. at least I lent my ears (a luxury which I didn’t have back when I wasn’t in a good shape previously). Recently I really maxed out my activities as the phrase “life is too short to live in regret” kept on playing in my mind. Don’t know why. I had my own things-to-do list but I kept on procrastinating.

And tbh, I expected myself to be long-winded as usual when blogging, but today I had been sitting in front of laptop for some time and couldn’t make myself to write a  lengthy one. I don’t know why I felt down all of sudden, perhaps cos sth happened to my close friend. My heart ached for this friend. But still, life must go on. I am living a contented life but I must stop procrastinating and stay put with my things-to-do list. I am gonna walk my talk from now onwards. See how long can my determination persists this time round:

• Refrain from being in FB for too long. 1st wk: max 1 hr/day … 2nd wk: max 2 days once … 3rd wk: max 3 days once
• Doing house-cleaning more frequently
• Spend more time with mom and help out at shop rather than staying at home during wkend
• Spend more time reading technical books and fictions
• Improve my EQ and networking skill at work
• Learn yoga and swimming
• Save money like what I used to do (ever since I bought a car, it had been halted, leaving me feeling insecure for fear for some unexpected event)
• Find myself a bf within 5 yrs or else, I might contemplate to stay single (this is a bit drastic, let’s hope it won’t happen-nowadays I do make stupid rules for myself to adhere to)

I reviewed myself and pondered where am I standing now. Am I close to what I wanted to achieve last time? How much have I done? I seriously changed my mindset and wanted only a simple and contented life. But life without challenges is boring and we tend to learn lesser if everything is just calm and no storm. I hope to have improvement in all aspects.

Happy Independence Day! Let us free our mind of those negative thoughts which drained us of our energy. Review yourself and redefine our goals in life!

Comment:

> 29.08.2010 (leeping)

i love this post =)
you always strike my mind and make me realize the beauty of life :p

> 29.08.2010 (Pheo)

hmm..wonder what u like about this post eh? nevertheless, thanks for all the comments and support all this while.

Jz read ur blog. Hope u r doing good there. Cold faster go away!!! It’s always a blessing to be able to appreciate those around u, esp good friends

> 30.08.2010 (leeping)
next time leave a comment on my blog..u can leave as anonymous but write ur name at the end of comment..hehe..
i like the 2nd paragraph..and bf within 5 yrs lol