#61 - The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

06.10.2010

Be warned, this is gonna be a very lengthy post, since I haven’t posted anything for some time and September 2010 was definitely full of events, I tell ya. Let’s see, where to start?

Book widens one’s horizon and outlook of life. I had finally finished reading “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” and yes, it’s very motivational, which reminds me of several quotes which I couldn’t agree more with.

• DON’T WASTE TIME CALCULATING YOUR CHANCES OF SUCCESS OR FAILURE, JUST FIX YOUR AIM AND BEGIN (GUAN YIN TZU)
• PERSISTANCE IS THE MOTHER OF PERSONAL CHANGE
• FAILURE IS NOT HAVING THE COURAGE TO TRY

These three quotes are really what i need currently. Those who knew me would always know that my middle name is PROCRASTINATION (CLP, are you reading this?). Currently, I am in a passive mode and no longer making much progress at work, at least before I am gonna start on another new project soon. I don’t like this feeling at all.

Felt like a handicap at work but nevertheless, I know I will restore my passion in work once again, since I always recover quite fast from the ‘unproductive’ period. I mean, life is too short to live in regret and has so much more to offer to those who are willing to go for it.

Easier said than done. If I can walk the talk, I won’t need these 3 quotes to motivate me. I tend to think too much, sometimes up to the point where I dare not take any step forward for fear of some adverse consequences. I should learn to fix my aim and begin, as quoted by Guan Yin Tzu. Wanna change job? Don’t wanna change job? What will happen if…?

Too much of IFs and u can never take the first step to change. That’s why I need the second quote. When we are used to being in a comfort zone, we must persevere and stand true to our stand and be persistent to adopt any changes which is beneficial to our own self. And this is where the third quote comes in. I need the courage to try, better try than never, people say. BUT…see? There goes the ‘but’ thing again. I am naive but like to think too much. How ironic can that be?

***Life is too short to live in regret***

I think I startled CMY by repeating this too much, until she was worried if I had some sort of illness or something. Funny how much friends can care for each other right? I love you, CMY. Muakksss… Haha. Recently I learn to express myself more too, with close friends only of course. I don’t like keeping it bottled within me myself. Hence, there was a series of consultation taking place with a few of my friends. Previously, I would just keep them nested within. Now I knew that it’s good to be able to share it out, to release the burden carried on one’s shoulder and it feels good to know that somebody out there are willing to listen and offer some advise.

“The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” shared that to cultivate a new habit, one needs to practise it for at least 30 days before it can become a new habit. If you can stick to the new habit within these 30 days, then you will have no problem to stick to it as a routine anymore. Currently I am trying with several new habits. Some worked, some doesn’t. Guess I gotta train myself further to buck up on my persistence and determination.

But I am proud to be able to leave home at 7.30am to work for about 2 weeks now. Well, not all the time but it’s a good start. I reached office early and I no longer stay too late in the office. That’s what I am talking about; I always believe that there must a balance in our life. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. Of course, there can never be a 100% well-balanced life all the time, but sufficient to say that at least you do allocate some time to rewind from the worldly hustles.

Imagine this… You are driving a car on the highway and you say that you don’t have the time to stop for refuelling. Sooner or later it will catch up on you. So, to say that you don’t have the time to do this and that was just like driving a car without stopping to refuel. You will burn yourself out and felt tired and have no passion in life if you just work and work and work.

Find some time to ease your mind and relax your body, no matter what it is. Reading, jogging, listening to the music, reading comics / magazines, hanging out with friends, gardening, playing with kids or pets. Just do whatever that makes you feel good! Reduce time facing the PC or play station or other equivalents. Come out and enjoy!  I enjoy hiking, badminton and yoga. Sports is my thing. What is yours?

So with all these outings, now you know why I need to block my calendar till this year end. I have this habit of using a planner / calendar where it has boxes large enough for you to fill in your activities for the particular date. I am never good in remembering the appointment dates. And I find the planner quite useful and had stick to it ever since.

I love mixing around with different friends and meeting new friends. I still need to learn to click better with people though. So the thing is, since I always try to hang out with different group of people, most of my weekends will be full of activities since I tend to plan ahead, as in, now is Oct and I had already talked about Nov and Dec activities, trying to arrange it in such a way that the dates won’t clash. Sounds good right? I thought so too. Needless to say, by the time I review my planner for these remaining few months of 2010, almost every weekend was occupied. Gosh, I must block my planner and not adding any entries into it anymore. Hence, the “no more…” msg in MSN.

I was already very seldom at home and I couldn’t even rmber when was the last time I accompanied my mom to the market. It used to be our practise back when I wasn’t so “busy” then. And even when I decided to block my planner, I realized that there is only few weeks left where I didn’t book myself for others. And I am gonna save this precious time to myself and stay at home to help mom out. I couldn’t rmber when was the last time I cleaned the walls and the ceiling fan too!

It’s good to meet more people or even to stay in touch with the current peers. It takes effort to keep in touch you know. Not everyone can do that. Some basically disappear into the thin air after some time. BUT…with all these outings, my pocket is drying up very very fast too. T.T No regret though as I get to hang out with friends. After a few years where everyone is already attached or married, it will be even harder to meet up.

And September is definitely a crazy month for me. I had 2 ROMs (mind you, ROM stands for Registry of Marriage), mooncake festival celebration and Hari Raya open house stated in my planner and obviously all the 4 weekends had been occupied. Definitely crazy, mom hardly sees me at home on weekends nowadays. Though she didn’t complain, I also have to pandai-pandai lah!

That’s the best thing I love about my mom, super liberal! She always lets us do what we want and is always there to offer some golden advise. She is not highly-educated, in fact just until primary level, but she knows a lot. Sometimes I tend to brush her idea aside, but it was always proven that she is right all along! Me so sia sueh… This Sept activities allowed me to re-connect with those whom I seldom meet but are actually close enough to engage in long conversation. It was good to know that everyone is doing well!

Time flies. It felt as if it was only ytdy that I started working and yet it had already been 2 years  plus. Same thing goes with my niece. Ytdy she was only this small and couldn’t even run and now… is running around and hopping like a monkey. Such a chatterbox (though I still couldn’t really understand what she said most of the time.

Kids are a wonderful blessing from GOD. They brighten up your life, esp. with their cute antics during their growing years. Being able to see their progress in learning a new skill, being able to know when they can sit, crawl, walk, run, hop, read, pee etc… Reminds me of my childhood years. Now I understand the physical and mental turmoil my parents had to endure back when we were kids. Now, now, not everything about kids is nice though.

Kids can be a darling and yet a nuisance at the same time, esp when you were busy doing something on your laptop or need to do some household chores. I really felt like pulling all my hairs out, but my niece… she has this ability to cheer you up in an instant with her smile. Such a devil! She was the one who irks u yet she was the one who made u smile in the end. Arghhh. If you ask me, I want a minimum of 3 kids, never mind about the living cost. That one will be figured out later. I do hope to have a pair of twins since I have the gene running in my family. My sister already had a pair of twins.

I wonder whether I will have too… To me, 2 kids are not merry enough. 3 will be just nice; can fit in a car just nice. And oh, I love kids! When they are not crying of course. Seriously, kids are such a wonderful creation of life.

And oh, I had been writing quite a few entries on romance recently (did u notice this too, CLP?). It’s unavoidable at this age. When you meet relatives, they will ask you: “Got bf already? Go out with who? Bf ah?” blah blah blah. When you meet friends in a gathering, they will ask you: “Got bf already or not? Really don’t have? Are you hiding him?” blah blah blah. People see me as being tough and independent. At least that’s what my aunt told me recently. I never knew that I managed to portray such an image to others.

Perhaps those who knew me will know better, whether am I that tough and independent as imagined? When I said: “No bf yet la, I wanna stay single for a while longer, enjoy being free of commitment and go anywhere I want”, they will say: “U are not very old, but also not young already. It’s time to find one” blah blah blah. Each time the conversation will be revolving around this roundabout. It’s a cycle. For some of my close friends, they will tease me about my 2 years and 5 years rule. We had fun out of it though! But seriously it’s time to be prepared for a commitment.

I am afraid of commitment. I am preparing myself mentally but at the same time, I fear the commitment involved. I fear the rejection, I fear the mental turmoil I would be in if there is any argument or worse still, break up! Having heard a few examples from my friends, how tortured they were, how distressed and emotional they were doesn’t help much either. I wouldn’t want that. But never try, never know.

All these fears made me feel like retreating into my old shell to advocate singlehood again but I know retreating like a coward is not a solution. Sooner or later I will have to face it somehow. Of course there are good examples of friends having blissful courtship too. I wish them white head till old and am happy for them. Btw, if you are wondering, no…I don’t have any relationship pblem and is not engaged in a relationship. Just voicing this out based on several discussions among friends. Told ya it’s unavoidable at this age

Hmm, perhaps I need the third phrase : FAILURE IS NOT HAVING THE COURAGE TO TRY to help me

Comment:

> 06.10.2010 (leeping)

just be yourself and do whatever u want =)

 

> 07.10.2010 (turtlerocks)

thanks :)