Control of emotion

Just interviewed someone for internal audit, as team member not team leader though. I can feel that his words were against me at certain point. I might be over-sensitive but I think my hunch was right.

But I also noticed one thing: that I couldn't care less and instead I just kept quiet and listened. Well, to be honest, I did care. If not, I wouldn't have posted this. I almost got out of control but I am glad that I listened although I did talk back a bit. Bad habits die hard.

It reminds me why I would want to leave in the first place. I guess he was tired himself as well. It makes me think, why on earth would I want to trouble myself and others when no one cares? But if this attitude continues, it is quite detrimental.

The system might rot. Well, it shows that I am not doing good enough to maintain good terms with everyone. I am learning very hard to listen more than talk. It is very hard for me. But I must do it. If I want to survive.

I also realised that the other he is not really the companion I would want to talk to in this situation. Yes, I have the urge to tell him everything but the response.... it doesn't makes me feel like saying more afterwards. Disappointing, though my timing might be off again. 

Seriously, I think I will be brave enough to make the decision to start anew all over again, be it work or personal. But will I regret? I don't know. CMY, if you are reading this... were you able to guess what I am talking about?