It Hurts

It hurts. A lot. Annoying and disappointing. With myself and him. Couldn't bring this up. So much so that I can't sleep despite tossing around on the bed for few hours. Gave up. Just woke up and browsed some articles and blogging now.

 

I wish one can be more matured and rational. I wish one can be more accountable and assertive. Never agree or sign up to something which you have no intention to commit to. Never complain when the due is near to show your dissatisfaction. Never say yes just to satisfy someone else. I guess that's how my Sales  was feeling towards me during my initial year as well. Now I understand.

 

I wish I can be less demanding, more accomodating, more considerate, more patient and persuasive and convincing. I couldn't care less now. I will remind myself not to bother too much. Bad habits die hard. I don't know when will I poke my busybody nose over and impose another rule or suggestion, only to disappoint myself again.

 

One could be self-centered and selfish yet the other one could be too demanding and irrationally inconsiderate. There are always two sides for a coin. Yin and yang. One can't be a hero without a villain. One can't be black without white. One can't be pretty without ugly. Get what I mean? Affected me a lot.

 

Damn!  Is this called insomnia? Now I understood how JY feels. I was having this in Vietnam last week but at least I managed to sleep the moment I am on the bed, just waking up very early. Most likely due to me sleeping without turning off the light rather than insomnia. Gave up tossing on the bed already. Will sleep when eyes are tired I guess. Luckily not working today.